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I get nervous. Anger now pulsates from Lorenzo, and I’m not sure if I should answer that question.
“Piccolina, do not make me ask you again. If you do, your ass will not enjoy the outcome. Did he use that word? Did he say he owned you?”
“Lorenzo, it’s just a word. He was trying to intimidate me.”
“So, he did. But you didn’t answer my question. It was either yes or no.”
He fists my hair and twists me onto my hip. His hand lands across my ass, and it smarts.
“Your thoughts are your own. I won’t demand to know what you’re thinking or what happens in conversations you have with other peopleunlessit’s about your safety and well-being. If I think there’s a threat to you, you will answer my questions, or I will bare your ass and spank you until my hand is sore.”
I stare up at him. There’s so much in what he said that I’m not sure what part to think about first. The spanking part pushes through. Do I want him to spank me for real? Do I want him to have that kind of control over me? Do I want to accept punishments from him?
I’m an adult. No one has punished me for anything since I left home after graduating high school. He doesn’t want to control anything but making sure I’m safe. He can’t protect me if he doesn’t know the truth about things that happen. Do I want him to protect me? I mean, who doesn’t want to feel safe? But do I want him as my protector?
His hand slides up the back of my skirt until he can cup my ass. God, that feels good. Fuck. It feels even better as he squeezes. He’s watching me. I know he’s waiting for me to flinch or squirm or ask him to stop. But I love it. The tighter his hand, the more I want him to keep going. Between his hand on my ass and his hand in my hair, I can’t go anywhere. I mean, I’m certain he’d release me the moment I told him to. I just know it. Nothing about this makes me feel trapped like I did with that piece of shit. Just the opposite. The more I think about it, the more in control I feel. The moment I want this to end, it will.
“You want to feel my hand across your ass because you want to know someone cares about what happens to you. That someone demands you’re safe and taken care of. That I won’t back down about this, even if you’re the one keeping me from making sure you’re okay.”
“Yes.”
I mouth the word more than say it.
He positions himself more in the middle of the seat before he rolls me onto my belly, over his lap. He pulls my skirt up, and I expect to feel the first spank, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he glides his hand over my bare ass. Then he pushes his fingers beneath my thong and caresses between my ass cheeks. I want him to finger me so badly that I fight not to wiggle to get his fingers into me.
“Piccolina, I’m not looking for domestic discipline. I won’t spank you for talking back to me. I won’t spank you for arguing with me or having an opinion different from mine. I won’t spank you for running late or not dressing a way that I want. I won’t spank you for not picking out food I think you should eat. I won’t spank you for being you. The only thing I expect is for you to be just the way you are. But I will spank you if something or someone threatens you, and you don’t tell me. I will spank you if you put yourself in danger. I won’t spank you if someone else does that to you. If you’re with me, there are risks that come with it. I don’t think I have to explain all of it since you know Laura and Maks. I suspect he has exactly the same rules for her.”
“He does. She explained it to me almost word for word.”
“If I’m punishing you — which I hope is next to never — then I normally wouldn’t pleasure you after. But this is the first time we’re doing anything like this. I don’t want your memory of our first time being intimate to be one of pain with no pleasure. You haven’t told me to stop, and you haven’t tried to get up. Do you want this? Or are you accepting it because you feel like you have to?”
“I want it, Enzo. I didn’t know I’d be into something like this. I don’t think I would be with anyone else.”
He sits me up, and I’m confused. His hand remains on my ass, but it’s a soft hold that feels almost loving.
“I told you I belong to a BDSM club. You must know that means I’ve spanked other women.”
Now I flinch.
“But — shh,piccolina— let me explain. That was roleplaying for sexual gratification. Did it fulfill something in me I enjoy? Yes. But did I give a shit what happened to my partner when she was doing whatever she does in real life? Frankly, no. Do I care a great deal about what happens to you when we are and aren’t together? More than I know how to handle. I have never spanked a woman because I care about her.”
I cup his face and lean in, but I wait for him to nod before I start the kiss. When he takes over, I gladly let him lead. I tunnel my fingers into his hair with my right hand while my left thumb sweeps over his cheekbone. My emotions are an utter jumble, but the one thing I know for certain is I don’t want to be anywhere but with him.
“I know you still want to wait the four dates, and I’m fine with that. But this is different. This is — intense — in a way no other guy has been with me. Ever. Not just at the beginning of a relationship, but the entire thing. If you want us to keep waiting to have sex, I won’t disagree. I just want you to know that this has gone way past you being hot, and me being curious.”
I tense. I just admitted a lot, and I feel super vulnerable.
“I feel the same. Roll over, little one. Let me spank you.”
He offers me a lopsided smile that I can’t help but return. It lightens what just got heavy, but it still reminds me we’re moving in a direction I’ve never been before. I don’t think he has either.
I position myself over his lap and take a deep breath. Just as I exhale, his hand lands across my ass.
“Ow!”
Holy fuck! That stings like a mother. Another one lands, and I freeze. His hand sooths some of the burn as he runs it over my quickly heating cheeks. The third one lands on my right ass cheek, immediately followed by the fourth one on my left cheek. He alternates sides until he lands three on my horizontal crack. I’m crying because of the pain, but I’m also crying because I feel guilty that I made him ask more than once when all he wanted was to help me. I pushed him away when what I really want is to hold him tight.
He inches my thong down my hips until it’s around my knees.
