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She thinks about that for a moment.
“You know I like being restrained. Or rather, unable to move on my own. Like I can only go where you decide. I like it when you press me against the wall. You crowd me, and all I can focus on is you. All I can feel is you. I’d like to be spread eagle for you.”
“You like the idea that I’ll do whatever I want to you, and you can’t stop me.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I trust you to make me vulnerable. The idea makes me feel more desirable than I ever have. You want me so much that you’re unwilling to let me go anywhere. You want me so much, and there’s nothing I can do to stop you. It feels powerful in its own way.”
“It is. When you submit, you’re the one who really has control. You say your safe word, and it ends immediately. I don’t decide that. You do. When I command you to do things or I do them to you, it’s because I want you, and you let me have you.Piccolina, I’ve never wanted any woman the way I want you. You have more power over me than I think you’ll ever know.”
It’s true. And I’m the one feeling vulnerable by admitting that.
“This fucking dress.”
She mutters it as she pulls it up her thighs and straddles my lap. Her hands slip under my tux jacket, and two fingers slide between the buttons over the center of my chest.
“Enzo, I don’t know all the things we can explore. I don’t know if we’ll like the same things, though I think we will. I want the pleasure it can bring both of us because you fuck like a porn star.” She waggles her eyebrows at me. “But I crave the closeness I think it’ll bring us. Do you believe in—”
She shakes her head, embarrassed by what she was going to ask.
“Yes, I believe in soulmates. And yes, you are mine.”
She leans forward, nestling against my chest. Her fingers slide farther under my shirt, and I feel her sigh. I rest my cheek on the top of her head. She’s not completely relaxed, though.
“What’s the matter,cuore?”
“Does being soulmates mean we’re truly compatible? Like to live to together and have a family?”
“If the other couples in my family are any guide, then it means we’re compatible beyond measure. It’s not like none of the couples argue. They do. But in the end, they want the same thing. It’s just a question of how to get there.”
“Lanie is going to shit a brick.”
That throws me.
“Huh?”
“Laura, Lanie, and I were the Three Musketeers in high school. We went our separate ways for college, but all wound up here in the city afterwards. When Laura started dating Maks, Lanie and I were terrified for her. But I got over it. Lanie took a fuck ton longer. She refused to go to Laura’s wedding. I know she regrets it. They’ve reconciled, but it’s not the same. Not just because Laura is a wife and mom. But because she chose Maks over us. Lanie’s going to think me being with you is the ultimate betrayal. It’ll be worse than with Laura.”
“Because you know how much it bothered her, and now you’re going to do the same thing.”
“Yes. I feel badly that she’s really going to be pushed out. There are things Laura and I will understand about each other she never will. Laura and I will never discuss these things most likely, but we’ll just know. Lanie won’t.”
“Marco’s single.”
She laughs and sits back, so we can look at each other.
“Marco isn’t her type. He’s a guy.”
“Hmm. My sister’s married and not into girls, and the only other females are in elementary school. I’ve got no one to offer her.”
“She wouldn’t even if you did. She knows as much about Juan as I do, which is not everything. She knows he fucked Laura over and nearly got her killed. But she sided with him and thought he was the wronged party. She doesn’t hold it against Laura, but she holds it against Maks and his entire family. She believes that because Juan was a cop, it automatically made him a better person.”
“Juan Diaz was as dirty as the day is long.”
“We know. Not only that, we’ve known since high school that his family was into shady shit. Laura knew more, but Lanie and I understood it had something to do with what we called the mafia. Now I know to call it the Cartel. The reason I brought her up is that I’ve been friends with her for fifteen years. She knows more about me than anyone but Laura. I feel guilty because I would walk away from her without looking back if I was walking toward you. And this isn’t the impetuousness of a new relationship. Even if we stopped dating, I would turn to you. I don’t know how to explain why. It’s something I just know unequivocally.”
