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“Are you telling me someone might try to blow me up in my car?”
“Yes. Ask Heather and Aleks. Ask Sinead and Gabe. It happens, and you need to know what to do.”
She clings to me and trembles. I reach behind me and grab my shirt, which I drape over her shoulders.
“I’m not cold. I’m scared for you. If you and your family have to do these things, it’s because there have been threats in the past, and there will be threats in the future. I hate knowing you aren’t safe.”
“Shh,piccolina. We take the precautions we have to. Can you live with these rules?
“Yes.”
“I don’t want domestic discipline, and we’ve already agreed to no age play because neither of us wants it. But I will punish you if you break these rules, Chellie. They’re there for your safety. I will spank you, and neither of us will enjoy it. If you don’t take them seriously, we’re done.”
“What?”
She jerks back, and her head slams into the underside of my chin, whipping my head back and making me bite my tongue.
“Oh, shit. Enzo, I’m so sorry. I—”
“It was an accident, and I know that. But I am serious. It won’t just be your life you risk. I can’t do that to our men, and I won’t be able to live with knowing I’m putting you in danger when you could be safe.”
“I’m entering your world, not the other way around. I knew that from the very beginning. I expected there to be way more limitations than you’ve described. It actually shocks the shit out of me how much freedom I’ll have. If these things let you sleep at night beside me and make it so your family won’t tell you to leave me, then I can live with them.”
“My family won’t tell me that. They know that conversation wouldn’t end well for anyone.”
“You’ve explained your expectations and given me your rationale. I won’t break the rules intentionally.”
“I’ll punish you even if it’s an accident. I won’t go any lighter on you. If you do it by accident, then it means you don’t understand the full gravity of the situation or you didn’t put enough thought into it.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“There’s something else I didn’t explain to you that I should have. If I come home and tell you I need you to leave me alone or to go in another room, I’m not angry at you or trying to hide something. I either need to get cleaned up, or I need time to calm down. It means something went wrong, and I don’t want you to see me like that. Don’t offer to help. Don’t try to do anything to help. Just give me space, and I will come to you as soon as I can.”
I’m stroking her cheek as I tell her this because I hate the idea of ever telling her I don’t want to see her for any reason. But shit does happen, and I do come home bloody sometimes. I do come home ready to rage against the world. I never want her to be around that. I never want her to see the man I really am.
“You said come home, and I made it sound like you’d be sleeping beside me every night.”
“I know. This is happening faster than I wanted because I wanted you have time to take all this in. I wanted you to be able to take your time coming to a decision about us. I know you said you had nine days to think about us, but that’s not long in your world. It’s a lifetime in mine. But when we say home, I want it to mean the place we live together. I don’t care if it’s the one I have now or the one you have now. We can get a place together. When you’re ready, that’s what I want.”
“I’ve never lived with a guy before.”
“I’ve never lived with a woman before, either.”
“I want to get to that, but I’m not sure I’m actually there yet.”
“We can have a lifetime to get to each stage. It doesn’t have to happen all in a month.”
“It pretty much did for Laura.”
“Maks was the first of our generation to get married. Women and children were always off-limits in the past. My generation has fucked that up, and not just my family. But that code still exists, even when people break it. Laura was in danger, and Maks believed making her his wife was the best way to protect her. In the beginning, he thought people knowing they were together was enough. It wasn’t. Anyone who saw them before they got married knew they were pretty much love at first sight. They moved fast, but it was obvious marriage was an inevitability. I believe marriage is our future, but I won’t rush you like that because we have an idea where the threat is coming from. Maks didn’t back then.”
“Can you tell me who or what it is?”
“Not yet. I don’t like hiding this, and I don’t want to make you fear any and everyone is out to get you. But until we know more, it’s not safe to say anything to you.”
“I trust you.”
“I know you do, and I always want you to.”
