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“I promise, Q’on, you didn’t hurt me. It’s … it’s hard to explain. Just know that if a human woman has this much trouble walking after sex, you did something very, very right.”
She shut me out of the bathroom while she used the toilet, though I stayed close by in case she needed me. When she finished, she seemed steadier on her feet, though she still wavered slightly.
“Whew! Okay, I think I can walk a little easier now. Let’s go sit down on the couch and watch something. Or you can play a game, either one.”
I scowled at the thought of fussing with the simulations again. “I do not want to play those games right now. They are irritating.”
“Okay, then. Pick a genre. What do you want to watch?”
After some thought, I opted for something that shouldn’t cause added arousal, given Amber’s continued muscle weakness. I did not wish to goad her into more if she wasn’t physically ready for it. So, instead of something with a romantic plot, I opted for a television series that boasted comedic value. Surely that wouldn’t lead to anything.
Amber laughed more than I at the show, though I admit that most of the humor was foreign to me. Why was it considered funny that the male walked into an open cabinet door? Amber tried to explain the value of physical comedy to me, but I still didn’t understand.
Even more frustrating than not getting the jokes was the fact that the television laughed right along with Amber. Even the device knew when something was funny! I began to regret my choice.
Several episodes in, Amber’s laughter slowed, and she turned off the television. “You’re not getting into this, are you?”
I sighed and shrugged. “I suppose after some more time on your planet, I’ll understand better. That is probably all I need. I just don’t understand why some of these things are considered humorous, or how the television knows when to laugh, yet I do not.”
Amber’s eyes widened, then she covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. “It’s not the TV laughing, Q’on. It’s called canned laughter. They record this stuff in a studio with an audience, and they’ve got people with signs that tell the audience members when to laugh or whatever. It’s all staged. That, or they record the laughter ahead of time and just play it back when something happens that’s supposed to be funny.”
“Oh.” My face fell, and I knew that if I were human, I’d be pink with shame. Blushing.
As though she sensed my distress, Amber wrapped her arms around me in a hug and held me close. “It’s okay, Q’on. There’s a ton of cultural differences between our species. This is all new to you, and I guess I kind of forget to explain the stuff that might not make sense to you. Just let me know when something confuses or frustrates you, and I’ll do my best to help you make sense of it.”
“I am sorry, Amber. I will strive to understand better. I don’t want you to think that I can’t learn.”
“Don’t stress yourself out over it. We’ve got all the time in the world. Well, not literally, but we’ve got time. You’ll catch on, and eventually I’ll learn more Xalanite customs. It’ll even out.”
I glanced at the clock on the end table. “Speaking of customs, you usually are in bed much earlier than this. Am I keeping you up?”
Amber shook her head. “No. I stay up late sometimes on the weekend.”
“Weekend?”
“Yeah. A typical human work week is Monday through Friday, so since Saturday and Sunday are off days for most, we call it a weekend. Nothing’s really ending except arbitrary counting of days, but it helps us keep a rhythm.”
“Are you tired, though? I can let you get some sleep. I will stay out here again if you wish.”
She frowned. “I’m sorry, Q’on. I shouldn’t have locked you out the past couple of nights. I know it’s sending mixed signals to you. I just don’t know how to act with a man in the house again. I haven’t dated since the divorce, so I’m used to sleeping alone.”
“You seemed angry.”
“Well, you annoyed me, yeah, but I wasn’t angry. Irritated, maybe, and a bit confused about how I was feeling. But not angry.”
“Does that mean I can join you tonight?”
She paused in thought. “Actually, I’d feel better if you did. Just in case Ryan or Evan break free.” Amber sighed. “We’re going to have to figure out what to do with them soon. Someone’s going to notice them missing, and even though they’re scumbags, they kind of don’t deserve to be locked up in the shed all winter.”
I growled low in my throat and clenched my hands into fists. “They wanted you dead. I do not see why we cannot give them the fate they sought for you.”
“That’s not how we do things on this planet, Q’on. At least, not in this country. They’ve got rights, and I’m probably already in big trouble for what little we’ve already done to them.”
I did not like the idea of Amber being in trouble with the authorities for the likes of her ex and his buddy. “Shall I release them?”
“No, not just yet. We’ll feed them again, give them some more blankets maybe … keep them from freezing to death overnight. But just let me think it over a little longer. I have to have a plausible story to tell the cops when they go running to rat us out.”
I accompanied Amber to the shed to feed and swaddle the captives. Though we had already covered them in blankets, they shivered and shook, and the shed was so cold that their filth froze to them in the chill air. Amber instructed me in turning on a small device that she called a “space heater,” though it would never suffice to warm someone in the void of space. I set the device well out of reach of the two men, and once they were fed and warm enough, we locked the shed behind us and went to Amber’s bedroom.
