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Over the sound of his own thoughts and the din in the tiny restaurant, he heard her shout, “I LOVE YOU, BLUE MATTHEWS!”
And even though he knew he couldn’t tell her the truth, that he loved her back the way she loved him, he couldn’t keep all his feelings in. When he shouted back at her, he was telling her everything. “I LOVE YOU, HANNAH ROSENSTEIN.”
It was the most true thing he’d ever said in all his life. Now he wasn’t sad anymore. He was free, he was surrounded by his friends, full of food that was delicious beyond belief, he loved Hannah Rosenstein and she loved him, even if she would never be his. And it was his fucking birthday.
Chapter 14
Hannah
Watching Levi interact with locals at trivia and laugh with her friends at Noelle’s birthday made it impossible to pretend he hadn’t changed. He was working on Carrigan’s events without making snide remarks about wanting the business to fail, he was showing up at staff meetings and not picking fights with Noelle, even for fun, and he wasn’t wandering off to mope when things didn’t go his way. That was a low bar to ask him to clear, but he was clearly doing what was, for him, an immense amount of emotional labor, while complaining about it very little.
She decided she also needed to at least appear to be trying, if only so he didn’t win the breakup by seeming healthier.
In this vein, she suggested their fourth date be the Gardiner Cupcake Festival. It was much farther away than she usually liked to go, and it was the kind of event he loved so it looked like she’d thought about him. (Actually, she’d mostly picked something huge and public where they couldn’t get into trouble. It was definitely not so she could spend a day wandering in the sun with the love of her life, enjoying his smile.)
“Are we actually going to drive hours to Gardiner just to eat cupcakes?” Levi whined. “What does the Hudson Valley have that we can’t get in the Adirondacks?”
For a person who had spent the first thirty-six years of his life trying to escape the Adirondacks, the man was getting a little defensive about his home territory. Also, for a man who had been known to drive all night to eat in one specific diner in New Hampshire because he heard they had the best breakfast in New England, he was remarkably grouchy about the drive. He could find anything to complain about.
“Mostly a cupcake festival,” Hannah said dryly. “Where they have some fascinating flavor combinations, and where we can get inspired for the family reunion we are hosting soon. The matriarch of the family has requested cupcakes that will, and I quote, ‘make my baby sister eat her hat with jealousy.’”
“Are you sure you’re okay to go to Gardiner?” he asked, holding her eyes.
That was the whole point. Couldn’t he see that? He made her itch to be back out in the world again, and she needed to start somewhere, so she was starting with the Hudson Valley. “I’m okay. I went over the whole thing with my therapist. I have a plan in case I have a panic attack. I’m ready. I want cupcakes.”
“Eat all the cupcakes!” Levi raised his fist in a poor Allie Brosh imitation.
The day was stunning, all warm and shimmering golds and blues, the air so beautiful it hurt to breathe. The festival smelled like buttercream frosting, and a band was tuning up. Hannah was alone with Levi and ten thousand cupcakes.
“Can I buy you a cupcake, cupcake?” he asked.
The first booth had beautiful cakes, but all the flavors were fairly pedestrian. She nodded and smiled at the owner but moved on. The next booth had several floral flavors, with candied pansies and the smell of herbs mixing with the sugar. Levi moved up beside her, brushing a hand along her back. He hummed happily while he looked over the options. The proprietor glanced at them and then did a double take.
“You’re Levi Matthews,” he said, holding out his hand for Levi.
Levi nodded. “Guilty as charged.” How was her human cactus so smooth at making small talk with strangers these days? When did he getactuallycharming instead of charmingly grumpy?
“I’m Jake Shi.” He pointed to the sign on the booth. “I run Cake in a Cup.”
“Oh!” Levi said, delighted. “I read an article about your transition from food truck to storefront. I’m excited you’re here.”
“I’m Hannah Rosenstein,” Hannah added.
Jake’s eyes got wide. “Of Rosenstein’s Bread and Pastries?”
She nodded. “I don’t work for Rosenstein’s, but yes. I own an inn.” She heard a note of pride in her voice and smiled. She would have wished Cass immortality, if she could have, but she had to admit, owning the inn felt pretty great.
“That’s right, Levi. I heard through the grapevine you were back at your family inn. I hadn’t realized there was a Rosenstein connection.” He paused, obviously hoping for an explanation.
“His parents have run the inn for years, alongside my aunt, who recently passed,” Hannah provided. “We grew up together.” True, if not the majority of the truth.
“Cool! What a powerhouse culinary space that must be. And congrats on the show, dude!”
Truly, did everyone watch Australian TV?
Levi nodded, distracted by the cupcakes. “Can I try a thyme and blackberry, and a rosewater and honey? Oh! Nan, they have lemonade with a lavender buttercream. That’s perfect for you.”
She prickled. He had loved to feed her, once. She did want a lemonade cupcake with lavender frosting, very much, but she didn’t want him to know her palate so well. She took it from him as if it might shock her and peeled the paper back, her eyes suddenly locked with his. He was watching her, waiting to see if it was good, and she couldn’t look away.
