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“Stop apologizing, Rafael. We both know you’re not really sorry. And even if you were, talk is cheap.” I grabbed a spoon and headed for the stairs. “I still have to text Brynn and Miles about the shops. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to figure out the living situation.”
He didn’t say another word as I climbed the stairs, my chest hollow.
Back in my room—or my chunk of the upstairs, since it wasn’t entirely separate from the rest of the apartment—I sat down on the edge of the bed and squeezed my eyes shut against an onslaught of emotion.
I had never fallen in love with anyone.
I’d never been so obsessed with a guy that I wanted to move in with him or tie my life to his.
I’d never experienced passion like that.
And now, I would never have that chance.
Rafael had done more than just tie us together; he had stolen my future from me.
I needed to start looking at him and thinking about him in those terms, somehow.
I couldn’t let myself think of him and his brothers as attractive demons who cooked dinner for each other, and gorged themselves on chocolate to curb their hunger. It made them seem too human.
And when they seemed human, I let myself like them too much.
I wasn’t entirely sure how to balance everything in my mind, though. I wasn’t someone who couldn’t survive without a plan and a spreadsheet, like Miles was, but I liked stability. I felt better when I knew what was coming and how I was going to face it.
But I had no idea what to do about my demon problem.
A few tears leaked from my eyes as I ate, wrapping my mind around the fact that this was my future.Rafaelwas my future.
And I could either hate it for the rest of my life—my potentially immortal life—or I could do my best to adapt.
Adapt or die, right?
Death was starting to sound a little easier, but I wasn’t ready to let go yet.
So I was going to have to keep adapting, no matter how much it sucked.
When I headed backdown the stairs, Rafe was sitting on the couch with his empty bowl beside him. His attention was trained on the windows, and he didn’t hear me behind him. Or at least, he didn’t turn around if he did.
I rinsed my bowl and put it in the dishwasher before padding over to the couch and sitting down somewhat near him. He turned his gaze to me, and then physically turned the rest of himself so he could look at me face-to-face.
“How far apart can we be right now without causing the psychosis?” I asked.
He lifted a shoulder. “A mile or so at the most, I would guess.”
Damn.
“Living in our own apartments are out, then. Even if they weren’t, we need people to believe we’re into each other. I imagine your government will be suspicious if we’re living separately.”
He nodded. “We’ll have to stay together. I can buy a house in town if you’d be more comfortable that way; something near your shop would make life simpler.”
Sharp pain cut through my chest. “I’ve been saving up to buy a house for a while, and have a long way to go. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that there are people wealthy enough to just go out and buy a home without batting an eye.”
“We’re used to different lifestyles.”
“Extremelydifferent.”
He dipped his head. “As soon as we’ve filled out the paperwork to let the world know you’re mine, the government will issue you an ID that marks us as mates. That gives you complete access to everything I own. You could walk into a bank, show your ID, and withdraw as much money as you wanted.”
I blinked.
