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Just like my own mom…
He can’t even answer me back, which proves one thing.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
Mother thought because Odessa and I are twins, that she’d get the same gift unlocked upon attending N.M.U., then she could…
“Is that the ending you wanted for me, Dad?” I ask instead of confirming what my mother always hoped for when it came to Odessa.
It’s why she treated her better.
Kinder.
Showed her nothing but pride and hope.
No wonder I felt like an outcast in my own family, despite how hard my father tried to make me feel loved. He didn’t have to risk coming here to N.M.U. on entrance day to comfort me. Or change the environment, so it felt cozier and safer for me to express myself. Dad didn’t penalize me for just being a powerful baby.
My mother did… and still does penalize me for something completely out of my control.
I’m surprised to see my dad is no longer at his desk.
He’s kneeling in front of me, his hand lightly on mine that rests on my feet that are pressed together.
“What I envisioned for you before Odessa’s disappearance was to be given the chance to find your identity before you entered N.M.U.,” he begins. “However, it changed when Odessa disappeared.”
“To what?” I ask, hoping he’ll answer.
“That you’d attend N.M.U., not because of the pressure we’ve burdened you with, but because you wish to explore the worlds you’re destined to venture through,” he whispers. “Your potential has always been infinite, Ophelia, but I know your birth was meant to be one of great purpose. That you’d achieve things your mother and I could have never done in our youthful years. I want N.M.U. to open the gates toward freedom and allow you to finally be free from what may have been a prison to you.”
“My childhood… wasn’t necessarily a prison,” I mutter in clarification. There were hard times, difficult tasks, brutal moments, and questionable decision-making at times, but I didn’t feel like I was suffocating to the point of being desperate to leave.
Dad never made me feel that hostile in my own environment.
“It had plenty of hardships, but there were a lot of good times as well. It’s not like I hate Mother or anything… it’s just…”
“It hurts to know someone you love sees you in a different light,” he whispers. “Especially when it’s undeserving and out of your control.”
“Yeah…” I’m sure this is the time when one would shed tears or cry, but the truth doesn’t make me feel as pitiful as before. I’d shed my tears and accepted that I may never gain Mother’s words of praise. This conversation confirmed what I had to force myself to acknowledge earlier.
Now, I have to take the next steps forward.
“So, N.M.U. is my time to shine,” I say with a tiny smile. “At least I can make you proud, Dad.”
“I’m already proud of you, Ophelia,” he urges me to understand. “You’ve done phenomenally, and I know you’ll continue to make me proud.” He reaches up to gently cup my cheek. “But I want this university to be where you blossom and find your true purpose. For you to make friends and maybe even find someone who will love the individual you are and not solely fantasize about being a part of the Guinevere heritage.”
I know he’s referring to my ex.
“Pick better choices in men. Got it,” I summarize. “Though it seems I have a tendency to be attracted to toxic, possessive men.”
He sighs, but I see a hint of playfulness in his eyes.
“I was ruthless.”
“And yet Mother somehow found it in her heart to love you,” I gasp in horror. “Shocking.”
“That’s what happens when you’re forced to be partners,” he complains, but I know better.
“You enjoyed every second of it.”
