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We know souls can be separated from bodies—that happened to me in Lord Loss’s kingdom years ago, when I entered the Board. In the past, a soul couldn’t survive a body’s death, but things have changed. Death is claiming souls and using them. We’ve no way of knowing if a captured soul remains conscious or not. But if they do… if Beranabus has made a study of Death from the inside and uncovered its secrets… maybe he can tell us how to kill it.
It’s probably a wild shot in the dark. Grubbs certainly thinks so and says that it’s a waste of time, but the rest of us believe it’s worth trying.
But before we can set off in pursuit of a dead man, we have the living to take care of. The new window is almost open. In another few hours, dozens of demons will be streaming across.
While Grubbs fetches his werewolves and Meera rustles up battle-hardened soldiers, I slot patches of light together. Dervish and Kirilli are resting—Dervish looks shattered, Kirilli scared. Bec’s watching me. Something about her gaze makes me feel uneasy.
“It must have been amazing,” she says. “Your trip to the stars and beyond sounds incredible.”
“Yes,” I grunt.
“I was wondering…” She coughs. “I’d like to touch you.”
“What?” I squeak, startled, thinking she wants to kiss me.
“I can absorb your memories if we touch,” she says.
“Oh.” I chuckle at my mistake. Then I grow serious. “Why do you want to take my memories?”
“Not take,” she says. “Share. I want to see everything you saw. The lights, the worlds, the Crux. If you grant me access, I can see all that you did.”
“What does it matter if I show you or not?” I snap.
She looks surprised by my harsh tone. “Well, of course I’m curious,” she says, stammering a bit. “But apart from that I have perfect recall. If you share with me, I might spot something that slipped your mind.”
“I doubt it,” I sniff.
“But it can’t do any harm, surely, if I just…” She reaches out, then stops as I glare at her. Letting her hand drop slowly, her expression darkens. “You’re hiding something from us. Just like Grubbs.”
“You saw that too?” I hiss.
“Everyone sees it. Something happened between him and Juni that he doesn’t want us to know.”
“What do you think it might be?” I ask.
“I’ve no idea. But I think I know what you’re holding back. You look hostile. I’ve done nothing to make you dislike me, so you must be… afraid.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” I sneer.
“Maybe not. But you’re nervous… more than that… suspicious?”
I fidget uncomfortably.
“The Old Creatures said the pieces of the Kah-Gash have been influenced by the hosts they’ve inhabited,” Bec says thoughtfully. “If my piece of the Kah-Gash was in Lord Loss for thousands of years…” Her expression clears. “You don’t trust me. You think I might betray you, or that my piece of the Kah-Gash might trick us.”
“Can you say for sure that it won’t?” I ask quietly.
Bec starts to respond hotly, then pauses. “Actually no,” she admits. Then she looks at me piercingly. “But can you make any guarantees? Can Grubbs? You don’t know where your pieces were before, or why they ended up in you. Maybe we’ll all be played for fools.”
“Maybe.” I nod slowly.
Bec smiles thinly. “Go on watching me, Kernel. I don’t mind. But I’ll be watching you too. And Grubbs. I don’t think any of us can be trusted.”
“You’re right,” I say glumly, then return her smile. “And we’re the ones who are supposed to save the world? I don’t like our chances!”
“Me neither,” she laughs, and we grin at each other, united by our uncertainties, paranoia, and fear.
We could stop the mage before he opens the window, but then we wouldn’t have a chance to test ourselves. I don’t like the course we’re taking—people will probably die—but there’s no other way. If we want to learn about the Kah-Gash before we go looking for the Shadow, we have to fight. We could cross to the demon universe and test it there, but that would mean unleashing the Kah-Gash in an area of total magic. If the weapon’s on the side of the Demonata, that would hand it the perfect opportunity to break free of any confines we might seek to impose.
