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“What are you talking about?” Bec screeches and appeals to the rest of us. “Has he gone mad? Do any of you know what—”
“Beranabus was afraid,” Grubbs interrupts. “That’s why he told you to send Kernel after him. It wasn’t so he could study Death from the inside and learn its secrets. He realized his soul might be trapped and he didn’t want to spend eternity in the grasp of the Shadow. He hoped Kernel could get him out. You know that’s true. You knew it from the moment you suggested the idea of rescuing him. Tell me I’m wrong.”
Bec says nothing. Her face was red with anger moments before, but now the flush fades. Her lower jaw trembles. She looks ashamed.
“This is personal,” Grubbs growls, facing us like a lawyer addressing a jury. “She’s not thinking about beating Death. She only wants to set Beranabus free.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Meera asks quietly. “He was her friend. You’d do the same for Dervish in that position. So would I.”
“I wouldn’t,” Kirilli pipes up.
“No surprise there,” Dervish mutters.
“It’s too dangerous,” Grubbs yells. “I liked Beranabus but I’m not going to risk everything to save his soul. Hell, he might not even be there. Maybe Death didn’t claim him.”
“It did,” I say softly. “I’ve been studying the lights while you were arguing, concentrating on Beranabus. A few started flashing as soon as I focused on him, and more have joined them. It’s not like when I search for someone living, but if his soul hadn’t been absorbed by the Shadow, no lights would flash at all.”
“OK, it took his soul. So what?” Grubbs shrugs. “How many of you want to risk a rescue? Who cared about the mad old buzzard that much?”
He looks around the room. Kirilli instantly shakes his head. Meera nods firmly to show she’s on Bec’s side. Dervish looks uncertain. “We owe him,” he says.
“We owe a lot of people,” Grubbs grunts, “but we can’t always repay our debts. You taught me that. A Disciple doesn’t risk his life to save a few people, not when the fate of billions is at stake.
“If I think we have a real chance of hurting the Shadow, I’ll jump at it. But if we’re just going over there to free Beranabus’s soul…. That’s not right. Beranabus wouldn’t have thought so either—not until he crumbled at the end.”
“What if he didn’t?” I ask angrily. “I spent more time with him than any of you. I never saw him ask for favors. He was the most selfless person I knew. What if he really did hope to learn something that might help us?”
“I’m not willing to take that chance,” Grubbs says.
“You’re a fool,” Bec shouts.
“Maybe,” Grubbs sniffs. “But it looks like we have a tie, three votes for each. You, Meera, and Kernel want to ride to the rescue. Kirilli and I have more sense. And Dervish…” He looks to his uncle for a final answer.
Dervish sighs. “I agree with Grubbs. We can’t let personal feelings cloud our judgment.”
“What if it was personal for you?” I softly challenge him.
“It’s not,” Dervish says wearily. “If Grubbs was in that position, I’d do all I could to free him. But he isn’t, so there’s no point—”
“Bill-E,” Bec stops him. Dervish turns slowly, left eyelid ticking, but she isn’t looking at him. She’s staring at me. “Is it Bill-E?”
I nod slowly.
“Liar!” Grubbs howls, raising a huge, shaggy fist. “How dare you—”
“I searched for him after I looked for Beranabus,” I say quickly. “I was running tests, searching for others I knew who’d died, like Mrs. Egin, Logan Rile, Sharmila. I came up blank on all of them. Then I thought of Bill-E and a few lights flashed, the way they flashed for Beranabus.”
“If you’re lying…” Grubbs growls, fingers clenched tight.
I step forward. I’m shaking like a rattlesnake’s tail but I speak clearly. “If you think I’d say this to trick you, you don’t know me at all.”
Grubbs stares into my eyes. He wants to find deception, but he can’t, because I’m telling the truth. His shoulders slump and he backs away. He shares a scared look with Dervish, who’s been hit just as hard by the news.
Bec could crow but she doesn’t. She merely waits.
“I killed him to free him,” Grubbs finally croaks. “It was the hardest thing I’ve done. I murdered my own brother. I wouldn’t have done that to save the world, the universe, or anything else. But I couldn’t bear to let him live in torment at the hands of the Demonata. I killed him to spare his suffering, to set him free. Now you’re telling me I didn’t, that the Shadow has him?”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
