Page 165 of Delightful Sins


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“This power exchange is more than sex,” he explains. “That’s why I need you to give it to me willingly. I’m going to spend the day using you, Jade. To calm my nerves, to help me creatively, to heal with the only person I know can heal me.”

I look up at him silently. The pause in his sentence is testing me, and I stay just the way I am until he smiles happily. “I need to quiet the thoughts in my head for at least a few hours, and only you have that kind of power to help. I might be your master today, but you have the real control, baby. Nod if you understand.”

I do.

And weirdly, there’s nothing more arousing than knowing Ethan Torres, the man I’ve loved my entire fucking life,needsme. Not because of my body and the things I can do, but because we know each other’s hearts and souls so well, I’m the only person in which he can find respite.

“If you want this to stop at any time, I want you to talk. You’re not allowed to talk unless it’s to tell me you want to stop. Nod if you understand.”

And I nod again.

“I’m going to push you to your limits. I’m going to test you and it might come across as cruel sometimes. But I need you to know I love you and none of what’s going to happen changes that. If anything, I’m doing it withyoubecause you’re the only person I love and feel safe doing it with. Nod if you understand.”

I blink up at him, dying to tell him I love him too, but I simply nod.

“Knowing all of that, now is your chance to stop it all before it starts. There’s no fun in me forcing you to do something you don’t want. This isn’t a punishment. I might punish you if you behave badly, but that’s not what it is. You’re going in because you want to. Now…” There’s a look of despair on his face, knowing he’s about to give me a chance to walk out. “Talk if you don’t want to do this.” His face hardens, and he adds, “Or nod if you’re in.”

I wish I could say I hesitate, think over it a million times, and take my time to make my decision. But I think I had my entire life to think whether I could take on Ethan and every single little corner of his mind that holds the weirdest yet most delightful things. He’s a peculiar man, and I’ve known that for as long as I’ve known him.

Instead of pushing me away, it’s always attracted me to him.

So I nod without hesitation.

His shoulders relax, and my breathing relaxes with them.

“That’s a good pet.” He smiles and squats in front of me. “Now let’s put this leash on your collar so you can follow after your master.”

He hooks the end of the leash to the heart dangling from the collar, and the truth hits me right away. If he pulls, I’ll choke. That’s the whole concept of this thing. So I have to follow him before the chain extends.

It comes quicker than I thought. Without a word, he’s walking, one hand holding the other end of the leash, and I’m crawling after him.

It’s a blessing that he’s in front of me because I’d be too embarrassed at him seeing the wetness glistening at my slit.

He walks directly to his room and to his desk. Pulling the chair away, he guides me under the desk before sitting down. As he wraps the slack of the chain around his palm, he spreads his legs so I can settle there.

“You’re going to stay here while I do some work. You have no idea how much I’ve been needing you like this, baby. Just so I can focus.”

He slides his hand in my hair, the cold links touching the side of my face. “So fucking beautiful.”

Then he lets go and starts working. First, it’s the guitar, then I heard him write, probably on music sheets, for what seems like hours. Then comes the keyboard. I can’t even hear the music. It’s all plugged into his laptop and all I pick up on is the clicking of the mouse and tapping of the keyboard as he puts it all together.

“This song is for my mom.”

My breath hitches. He knows I can’t respond, and he keeps on explaining. “I miss her, Jade. Every day I miss our relationship and the kind of love only she could provide. I can’t accept that she just…left. We were so close. It makes no sense to me.”

For lack of being able to say anything, I nuzzle against his inner thigh and drop a kiss there before pulling away.

I’m glad I can’t talk because he wouldn’t like what I have to say. Ethan is allowed to miss his mom. They had a beautiful relationship, but I don’t feel the same way about her anymore, and he doesn’t need to know that.

He spends hours like this. Or at least that’s what it feels like to me. My vision is simply his legs and his crotch. Every now and then, his hand will come to caress my cheek or my hair, but nothing else.

Being naked at his feet and yet not being the object of his attention is the worst torture I’ve ever endured. I don’t just want him to talk to me and acknowledge me. I want him to tell me I’m what he desires right now.

I am naked at your feet!

I want to scream at him so badly. How can he just focus on music when I’m right here, desperate for his attention.

I shift on my knees, eager for him to notice me moving, and yet not sure I’m allowed. He ignores me anyway, and I hear him using the keyboard again, the dull sound of the keys being pressed.

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