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My mouth falls open instead.
His black eyes have always looked light in the night. Like a creature who belongs to the darkness. And I know he does.
Ethan blocks me, one hand on the car window, just above my shoulder, and the other grabbing my waist tightly.
“What are you doing?” I can barely control the trembling in my voice. It’s not fear or lust. It’s just the general effect my ex-boyfriend has always had on me.
I could spend hours in his room, talking and having fun, but the moment he dug his eyes into mine, I would lose all sense of composure.
There was no closure with Ethan.
I never got an explanation about why I wasn’t good enough for him anymore.
His interest for me died when he joined the Kings.
His love simply vanished.
“I left the house to race. I wasn’t going anywhere else. Kay said I need to sort out the money for the van myself. It needs a new engine, better…better…um…”
My voice dies in my throat when his hand tightens on my waist, his thumb caressing my hip. I’m wearing a hoodie. This shouldn’t feel so good. It shouldn’t raise goosebumps to my skin when I can’t even feel his.
His features harden, like he’s battling with his thoughts.
“Ethan…” I’m already giving up, my defenses falling easily in front of the man who broke my heart. “What do you want?”
I notice something on his cheek and bring my hand to it. His skin is warm compared to my cold fingers. They shake because no one ever knows how Ethan will react when he’s touched. There was never an explanation for it; it’s simply who he is. That’s what he told me when he let me touch him for the first time.
Some things you’re just born with. It’s not because anything happened to me. It’s because of how everything around me makes me feel. Noises, materials, people. They make me feel weird.
The whole world makes me feel uncomfortable, Jade. The whole world but you.
For a second, I think he’s going to shrug me off, but he silently allows me to touch him, letting me wipe the blood with my thumb.
“What did you do?” I rasp.
His violent tendencies started early. Being treated like shit without being able to defend himself kicked off a cycle of gory imagination. He described to me the things he’d like to do to the people who bullied him and hurt us.
But he never put it into action. Not that I know of.
Our gazes lock, and it only takes him a few seconds to come back to reality. He slaps my arm away before grabbing me again.
His grip on my waist is tighter this time, pinching me. I shift, though not able to go anywhere. I’m not sure I want to. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s his hand on my body, and I want that.
I wince when he presses harder into my skin, and his eyes light up. The stars are suddenly bright in the black holes that are his eyes. He brings his other hand to my shoulder and presses down. My knees buckle, but I resist.
Eyes narrowing at me, he shakes his head, silently telling me not to resist.
“Ethan—” He pinches harder, making me grunt from the pain. His hand on my shoulder persists until I fall to my knees in front of him.
I’m stuck between his legs and the car, suddenly feeling claustrophobic.
His hand is on my jaw next, the tip of his fingers by my ear, his thumb skimming my lips. He traces the outline of my mouth. His chest is rising and falling slowly, breaths deeper and deeper with every new intake of air. Like he needs it to ground himself.
His attempts at self-control fail when he presses his thumb against my lips.
Clenching my teeth, I refuse him entry. “Stop,” I grit out. As I try to turn my head to the side, he tightens his grip on my jaw, now grabbing my chin to keep me facing him.
He doesn’t lose patience. He tries to push his thumb in my mouth twice again before I give in.
