AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m beat.” Ambrose lifts his head from the evening primrose to wipe imaginary sweat from his brow. “This has been a day of excitement, but I think all I want to do is listen to Bree take her bubble bath and then curl up in bed.”
“No, Ambrose,” Edward pipes up, his voice taking on that bleak, wretched tone that breaks my heart. “You will do no such thing. Brianna made it clear that she doesn’t wish for us to be in her life anymore. We have lost her, and our efforts tonight will not change her mind. We have kept her safe, but we must respect her wishes.”
“No.” Ambrose’s eyes widen. “It’s not true. It can’t be true.”
“That is what Brianna asked.” Edward’s eyes flick to me. “Isn’t it?”
“Bree, tell him that it isn’t true! Tell him that we had a silly fight, and you said things you didn’t mean. Tell him…tell him that despite everything, you want us in your life?”
I step toward them both, my breath catching in my throat.
WhatdoI want?
On the one hand, I’ve had a tantalising taste of a normal life outside Grimdale – travel and food and sex and fun without any ghosts bothering me about turning the TV channel or trying to sniff my food.
But on the other hand, what’s the point of being normal when it was like wearing a coat that didn’t fit? What good is a life on the road without Dani’s wry humour, or Pax’s fierce protectiveness, or Edward’s terrible poetry, or Ambrose’s boyish enthusiasm? Sure, we may be up to our ears in murders and chaos and mayhem, but I’m still the happiest I’ve been in my whole life.
Why was I so desperate to run away from this life? From them?
Maybe…now that there’s a name for what I am, I can stop being so afraid to be myself.
Maybe I’m ready to stop running.
I hold out both my hands. “Please,” I say, because I know what I’m asking. They were willing to give up on me, on us, because that’s whatIwanted. They’re always the ones sacrificing for me. This time, I want to be the one who sacrifices. “I want you to take me home. Toourhome.”
5
Bree
Once more, I drag my body over the threshold of Grimdale. This time, I have two ghosts at my side. A rush of warmth circles me knowing that I’m safe with them, that no amount of fucking up I can do will make them give up on me. Ambrose practically skips in the direction of my bedroom, but Edward morosely drags his feet. If he had chains, he’d be rattling them right now.
I am so tired that I need an industrial forklift to hold my eyes open. My yoga clothes are crusted in blood and grave dirt. I must smell like a dream.
But I don’t care. I figured out something important tonight.
I know who I am.
I’m not afraid of my power anymore, not when it can save the people I care about.
And…I know what I want.
I wantthem.
Edward, Pax, and Ambrose.
I know it’s messed up and crazy. I shouldn’t want three men at once, especially when two of them are ghosts. I shouldn’t dream of three men out of time and all the filthy, delicious things they can do to my body. I shouldn’t chase this warm, aching need that clenches my heart.
But I’m tired of lying to myself.
I want them more than I want to be normal.
We pass through the foyer. There’s a dark stain on the flagstones where Father Bryne died, but I can’t even think about cleaning it right now. Ozzy is still hanging from the chandelier above, emitting adorable squeaky snores.
I’m a little jealous of the fuzzy wee dude. I’m in desperate need of that bubble bath I mentioned. But one look at that dark bloodstain on the tiles where Father Bryne died brings all of this horrid night back, and I know I won’t sleep.
The party. The fight. Running away from the ghosts. Discovering Pax missing. Father Bryne attacking us. Pax in the cemetery. The monster. Pax dying. Edward jumping into the monster to save us. Me, twisting the Ripper’s knife in his chest until I sensed his life slip away…
Paxdying.
