Page 45 of Ghoul as a Cucumber


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“He helped us save Bree from Father Bryne,” I say. “And now he’s given us this information about Pax. I think that Ozzy is trying to bury the hatchet.”

“I’ll show him how to bury a hatchet—”

“Ssssssh.”

“But this is good news?” Pax scrunches up his face. “We go downstairs immediately to show Bree what Ozzy told us, and then we can ask Edward and—”

“It is good news,” I whisper, desperately trying to get him to stop talking in that booming voice of his. “But I can hear Mike and Sylvie in their bedroom. They’re right below us. If we go downstairs, we’ll wake them up and they’ll know Bree is keeping us here. We have to wait until they leave to get their morning coffee.”

“Hmmmph.” Pax considers this. “Yes, perhaps you are right. We rest before we go into battle for Edward’s mortality.”

He grabs the corner of my blanket and yanks, taking most of it with him as he rolls over. A burly arm drapes across my chest. The weight of it is ecstatic for this newly minted Living ex-ghost. But it is also significant. I wonder if it will collapse my lungs.

I try to wriggle free, but Pax has a tight grip on me. “I suggest you don’t wriggle about and wake me while I am visiting the land of Somnia,” he murmurs as he snuggles his muscled chest against my back. “The last man who did that had his neck broken.”

Ah. Note taken.

A few minutes later, Pax’s snoring echoes through the attic.

Something brushes my shoulder. I jerk away. Ozzy makes a disgruntled squeak. I open my other arm and the little ghost bat crawls in beside me, folding his wings over his face, and goes straight to sleep.

* * *

“Ambrose? Pax?”

“Stay away from me, foul Druid!” Beside me, Pax jerks awake, arms flailing as he tries to toss off the blankets to scare away his invisible foe.

“It’s just me, Pax. I came up to tell you that Mum and Dad have left to see if Maggie knows how to make a proper cup of Italian coffee, so you can come downstairs.” Bree takes my hand and threads it through her arm. “I’m making drop scones. That is, if you want to get out of your cosy snuggle pile.”

“I want drop scones!” Pax scrambles to untangle himself from the blankets. Bree pulls me free before he can take my head off.

“I also would appreciate some drop scones.” I crick my head to the side. “And a neck massage.”

“You are becoming more like Edward every day. Seriously, you two are adorable, and I wish you could snuggle in my bed. But at least I’ve sorted out the issue for the moment so you won’t have to sleep in the attic again.” I hear Bree tapping on her phone with her free hand. “You’re both going to stay with Mina in the bookshop.”

“No. That’s too far from the house,” Pax frowns. “I won’t be able to protect you.”

“I don’t want to be away from you, either,” I say.

Especially not now, when I have just become a Living man again, and my body feels strange and ill-fitting except when I’m beside her.

“It’s just until after all the guests for the Giant Vegetable Festival leave, and I can figure out how to tell my parents about us and…” Bree swallows. “I’ll come and stay with you sometimes, I promise. And Mina will make it fun. Just don’t annoy Heathcliff or let Morrie pull you into one of his schemes and you’ll be fine.”

“You’d better tell Mina that she needs to make room for one more,” I say, as a little furry body burrows his way out from the collar of my coat.

“Oh, Ozzy, you’re adorable.” Bree pats him on the head, which he seems to like because his little ghost body vibrates, and he makes a low humming noise. “I don’t think Ozzy will be able to come with you. The moldavite only works with me, and I don’t know how powerful it is on non-human ghosts.”

“I wasn’t talking about Ozzy.”

He squeaks in protest and I reach up and pat his head affectionately. Behind me, I hear Pax groan.

“Then who were you talking about?”

“We’re going to solve Edward’s unfinished business,” I announce.

“I admire your enthusiasm, Ambrose, and we’re definitely going to work on it. But I don’t expect us to figure out Edward’s unfinished business quickly. We have no clues and—”

“We do have a clue!” Ozzy squeaks in protest as Pax picks him off my shoulder. “Show Bree what you showed us.”

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