AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A shred that I need to destroy.
Time to intensify the combat, or whatever the hell Marines say. No, knowing how smart Marines are, it's probably: shoot more better.
In the refrigerator, I find several bottles of wine, including a bottle of expensive looking champagne, and next to the refrigerator is a small cabinet full of snacks, including a packet of what look to be homemade biscotti. Knowing the Vertuccis and their pride in their Italian heritage, they probably are homemade.
I grab the packet of biscotti and the champagne, which I pop open in a messy manner, making a huge foamy puddle on the floor, and announce, "I need to use the bathroom. I'll be back in a second to finish unpacking, Mr. Orderly."
A trail of biscotti crumbs falls in my wake on the way to the bathroom. Though that is only partly by intent — biscotti are always so dry and crumbly they make a mess on their own.
I get to the palatial, marble-tiled bathroom, sipping and spilling champagne as I go, and leave the door open.
"Dani, the door," Owen calls behind me.
His voice sounds more urgent than before.
Good.
He knows what's coming.
Maybe this will drive him away.A serious and shameless escalation of our psychological warfare.
"What about the door?" I reply.
"If you're going to use the toilet, close the damn door."
"It's only pee."
"No, no way," he starts. I can hear him start moving toward the bathroom to shut the door, but it's too late, because I've already started, too.
"Do not come in here, perv," I call out. “Are you one of those sick guys who wants to watch women in the bathroom? What would I find if I searched in your browser history?”
"Oh fuck," he says, stopping just short of the doorway and turning around to run back to the bedroom.
Finished, I return to the bedroom carrying my cookies and champagne, both of which continue to fall in crumbs and puddles behind me. Haphazardly, I grab a few more things from my suitcase and throw them around the room.
"Unpacking is boring," I announce as I snatch up the remote control for the big screen TV that dominates the wall opposite the bed. "I'm going to see what's on TV."
With the push of a button, I bring the TV to life.
With a long, long press of the volume button, I fill the room with the deafening sounds of an infomercial for a chamois cloth so absorbent it can soak up buckets of fluid without leaving, and, according to the excessively excited and skeevy spokesman, 'any evidence that any fluids of any time were there at all; wine, tears, blood. It’s like nothing ever happened, and you can get back to your vacation in Reno with no cares in the world.'
It’s so specific that it creeps me out, so I change the channel. There's the familiarduhn-duhnof one of the most bingeable TV shows in history, and instantly, I'm among the ranks of New York City's finest.
"Seriously, Dani? You make this room look like a hurricane hit a lingerie store and decide now is the time to watch an episode of — oh, fuck, this is a good one — " Owen shakes his head as if fighting off that irresistible inclination to sit down and watch an episode, and then continues, "You can't just sit and watch TV while this room is a fucking pigsty."
"If you don't like it, you can leave," I shout over the silver-haired district attorney on the screen.
"Not happening."
"Then you better be ready for a lot more of this. Now, shut up, I've seen this episode, too — everyone's seen every episode — but I love it, so don't interrupt."
It is an exceptional episode; the bad guy's a total creep; he nearly gets away with the murder; he taunts the detectives and the DA with his blatant criminality; then the detectives find a last-minute clue that turns out to be the nail in his coffin, and the clue's sprung as a big bombshell in court. Then, like always, the DA closes out the case with a biting one-liner. Classic.
I watch the entire episode while eating biscotti with an open mouth and dribbling champagne everywhere.
As time goes on, I can see veins emerge in Owen's forehead, and soon, those veins have veins, all of which throb in unimaginable rage and frustration.
But, despite everything I do, he doesn't break.
