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“Fine… I’ll lay off on the personal questions. By the way, I’m recently single—just in case you were wondering.”
I wasn’t interested.
“Maybe we were meant to run into each other like this. I mean, what were the odds?”
It seemed like a coincidence to me.
We stopped to look at another photo. An attractive model was holding a white butterfly in her hands as she stared into the camera lens. I couldn’t read her expression, though I guess that was deliberate.
“I almost got married last year,” Cammie said.
Too lost in the photo, I stayed quiet and let her share.
“I ran out on the groom on my wedding day.”
“You what?”
“I was in my dress and everything… Ready to walk down the aisle and becomeMrs. Abbot. I can’t believe I waited until the last minute to realize I was making a mistake.”
“How come you didn’t marry him?”
“I wasn’t in love with Kaleb,” she answered with a shrug. “We dated for a year and were engaged for three months. It was all so fast, really. I think I just wanted to settle down. I thought he was everything I wanted, but he wasn’t. I guess I just knew if I married him, we would have ended up divorced. Anyway, I did the right thing in the end.” She finished her drink.
“I see I’m not the only one who has a reputation for breaking hearts.”
“I blameyou. You damaged me.”
There it was: the piling guilt.
“Cammie, I’m sorry. I really am—for everything.”
We locked eyes for a moment. Her smile seemed forgiving as she leaned in and gently kissed my cheek.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Noah. It’s impossible to stay angry at you and even more impossible to hate you. I guess you’ll always be my weakness.”
I took her hand and squeezed it gently. “I just want you to be happy, Camelia. I know I put you through some shitty chapters in your life, but I want you to close them and move on.”
“My life is better than what it was ten years ago. Let’s just be grateful that we made it out of law school alive.”
Iwasgrateful. Had I continued my addiction, I would have wound up dead.
We spent the next half hour strolling through the exhibit, talking, and admiring Evan’s pictures. Most of the photos were of Aria, so I had a lot to appreciate.
“It’s kind of ironic that I spotted you at an art gallery.” Cammie giggled.
I still remembered that night when she had surprised me with tickets to an exhibit. She had given me the silent treatment for weeks after discovering that I had women over. But Cammie came back. She always came back, and I always let her. That’s just the dance we did around each other. But things weredifferent now.Iwas different. I had moved forward, and I wasn’t ever going back. I had no intention of breaking Aria’s heart. Ever. She had been through enough, and I couldn’t live with myself if I resurrected that demon within; a demon who wanted to drag me into a life of sex, drugs, and chaos. At what cost? Losing my soul? Losing Aria? I refused to be my own worst enemy. Cammie was no longer my temptation; this is what she had to accept, regardless of the ego wound. My kryptonite was Aria, and my biggest struggle was convincing the woman I love of this truth: she had the power to make or break me.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
EVAN
I’ve always been immune to pain. The only agony I can recall is when my biological mother was murdered. Ever since that night, something shut down inside of me. I remember having countless accidents as a child: scraping my knees, cuts, bruises, broken bones… But I never cried—not a single tear was shed. I fell out of a tree once and broke my arm. Most eight-year-olds would have screamed their lungs off, but I’d marched straight into the house, looked my parents in the eye and told them I did something funny to my arm. The bone had been probing out of my skin. It hadn’t ripped through the flesh, but the bump was visible. Mum had fainted when I pushed it back in. Why was I retrieving these memories now? Because I realized how vulnerable I was with Aria; she had the power to hurt me.
Which is why I need to kill her.
No. Worst-case scenario, you keep her captive, and make well use of her. Think with logic. Not emotions.
The voices were back again. Why was this happening now? Shutting my eyes, I tried to find my quiet place. I don’t think I ever knew what it felt like to be in love until I met Aria. She gave purpose to my existence. I just wanted to be accepted by her. Iwanted her to embrace all parts of me, especially my darkness. The truest path to liberation is when you reveal your shadow self to the one you love. By unveiling all parts of you, you open yourself up to receiving authentic, unconditional love; it’s the greatest reward you receive by risking vulnerability. If you hide your dark side, you rob yourself of reconciling your shadow, and coming into alignment with your true love. You may even live a double life because of cognitive dissonance. I didn’t want to hide my shadow from Aria. I was just taking my time, revealing my monster in doses. The last thing I wanted was for her to run from me.
