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His arms encircle my waist, and he pulls me until my back hits his chest. “Feeling okay?”
“I think so.” My fingers skim across the surface of the water. Panic threatens to take over my mind, but I keep my breaths even and close my eyes. Leaning my head back on Elliot’s shoulder, I whisper, “I’m safe with you.”
His lips are soft against my jawbone as he murmurs, “Always.”
Eventually, I work up the courage to open my eyes. The water is still and glassy, and I watch the ripples as I lower myself until the water hits my collarbones.
See? Perfectly fine.
“Love?”
“Hmm?”
Elliot pulls me up. “I was worried you fell asleep.”
“I am pretty tired,” I admit. “But I don’t think I can relax that much.”
“Just stay up here with me,” he says as his thumb rubs against my stomach. “Please.”
“Sorry.” I give his arm a reassuring squeeze.
Elliot’s right. However much I want to be as far past my fear of water as possible, now isn’t the time to push myself. I should be focused on him right now.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask him.
“A lot better now that we have the hard drive. I don’t think I’ve ever been that nervous before a job. Not since we were kids, anyway.” Elliot blows out a long breath. “I’m still a little worried about Ludo roping us into finding Aubrey, but there’s not much to stress about. We just have to play the part until she contacts him.”
“And that won’t last long.”
“Exactly.” He pauses for a moment before saying, “I’m mostly concerned for Rhett now. He went straight from finding out Richard has a secret family to scrambling to protect his new brothers. He hasn’t had time to process, and he’s already so angry.”
“It’s almost like Richard abandoned him again,” I say softly.
“Yeah. And I don’t even know how to help. My parents may suck, but they stuck around, and I know they love me. If anything,I’veabandonedthem.Not that they don’t deserve it. But when it comes to Rhett, I can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Oliver may be able to understand, but I . . . I’m lost.”
“What happened to Oliver’s dad?”
“None of us know for sure. He just disappeared one day. Meredith was still pregnant with Maria at the time. She filed a missing person’s report, but the police never found him. Oliver barely remembers him, let alone what happened, and Meredith doesn’t like talking about it. Oliver has always chosen to believe that something happened to his dad. I think it was better than wondering why he wasn’t good enough for his dad to stick around, you know?”
“I do,” I say. “My dad didn’t want me.”
“Oh.” He presses his face into my neck. “Love, I’m sorry. That’s awful.”
I shrug. “I’m over it for the most part. It’s not like it was personal. When my mom told my dad she was pregnant with me, he wanted out. Not everyone wants to be a parent. Not everyone has to be. But I still wonder if he thinks about us. If he started his own family when he was ready, and if he’s happy. If he regrets not staying with us. Or if he’s never thought of me since he and my mom parted ways.”
“You deserved better,” Elliot tells me.
“I used to dream up fantasies of him showing up at our door and taking me away from Patricia and Thomas. But now, I suppose I’m grateful he didn’t.”
“Why?”
I twist so I can look at him. “Because my life led me to you. And I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”
Elliot’s eyes soften, and he presses his lips to mine tenderly. Just as the kiss begins to deepen, a knock on the door startles us both.
Oliver steps in and gives us an apologetic grimace. “Ell, your phone’s been ringing off the hook. It’s Ludo.”
Chapter twenty
