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My drink was nearly empty.How many was that? My third? Or was it the fourth? I had things I needed to do. As of now, I still had a job, and it was the one thing I could trust myself to do correctly.
I couldn’t move though. Jett’s face as I walked away ran on repeat in my brain. No matter what I did for the rest of my life, I would never forget that.
I was doing the right thing by walking away. Maybe if I kept repeating that, I would convince myself because deep down, I knew I wasn’t fit to be Jett’s alpha. Or anyone’s. I couldn’t fight for omega rights while also claiming a mate. I was a monster and couldn’t be trusted to care for one. No, the best thing for everyone would to be to stay single. My fist might get a lot of action, but that was safest. This incident only proved that.
I dreaded going back into the ballroom, even if I knew it was unavoidable. I felt like such a fraud. By now, the rumors had to be spreading, and as bad as what truly happened was, gossip would make it worse. How could I face all those people and try to campaign for support for omega rights bills, when whispers about what I did to Jett must be swirling. Gods, who was I kidding? I couldn’t even do my job correctly. I should just leave before I cause more damage.
I felt more than saw when the stool next to me at the lobby bar was occupied. I quickly downed the rest of my martini, knowing I’d likely need more than that to get through this conversation.
“I’ll have whatever he’s having. And give him a refill,” Orion told the bartender, his voice gruff. He was barely reined in, and I could sense his alpha energy threatening to burst and overwhelm everyone at the party. He probably could do that, too. I’d never sensed such raw power from any alpha before. I doubted anyone in here would be able to fight the need to submit if he unleashed the full extent of his power.
I took it as a good sign that he was still managing control. He might listen to what I had to say before murdering me. Not that I didn’t deserve his wrath.
I thanked the bartender as he filled my glass and took a long, slow sip, buying time.
Finally, I glanced at the man who held my fate in the palms of his hands. “How is he?”
If looks could kill . . . “Like you give a fuck.”
I was growling low before I even realized it. Subconsciously, I was aware that wouldn’t help a thing, but howdarehe doubt how much I cared for Jett. The reasonable part of my brain argued in favor of Strongfire. I didn’t exactly make a good case for myself.
Orion, of course, wasn’t threatened at all. Most alphas hated being challenged, me included, but he was so far out of my league, it was laughable. I might as well have been a child putting up a fuss, and the eyebrow that he raised said that was exactly how Orion felt.
What was wrong with me? I prided myself on my control. Ever since that day, I never let myself fall to my instincts. Not once. That was, until a young omega with auburn hair and golden eyes tore down my defenses with one look.
“Giving a fuck was why I walked away.”
Orion snorted and sipped his drink slowly. “Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.”
I ignored the comment. “If you’re going to kick me out or kill me, can you please at least answer my question first?”
Golden eyes that looked way too much like Jett’s took me apart with his assessing gaze. It raised my hackles knowing how hard it was to maintain eye contact. Orion was almost half my age, and I was a strong alpha. I should not have such an urge to submit to his authority.
“I’m not going to kill you. Or kick you out. Jett made me promise. Also, you’re too good at your job and I don’t want to deal with training a replacement.”
I almost laughed and I felt a little tension leave me. I took the olive branch for what it was. “Please, just tell me. I know I messed up spectacularly, but I really didn’t intend on hurting him.”
Orion sighed heavily, like he reached the end of his patience. “He’s okay. Heartbroken, confused, and extremely embarrassed, but he’ll be okay. He’s a strong kid. He deserves better.”
I couldn’t agree more. “That was why I walked away.” I hesitated before continuing, “And physically?” Gods, how badly did I hurt him?
“Bruised to shit. But as my husband was so quick to point out, it wasn’t any worse than one of our more intense impact play scenes. Jett swears he wasn’t forced and lucky for you, I’m choosing to believe him.”
I tried to think back to the incident but honestly, it was all a blur. Did Jett truly believe he wasn’t forced? He was so much smaller than I was, though, and I wasn’t holding back at all. I was trying to see it from his position, but all I could remember was how I lost control and became the monster I fought so long to leave behind me.
“Listen, Winston. I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I never knew you to be impulsive or not think through every one of your decisions. Whatever your reasons are for denying the connection with Jett, I know you have them and you believe they are important enough to deny him. I respect that. I don’t understand it, but I respect it. As much as I’d never force Jett into a mating, the same courtesy goes for you. However, I do suggest if you are going to reject him, then you stay the fuck away from him. He deserves a chance to move on. Don’t make it harder for him.”
I was clenching my fist to the point that my nails were biting into my skin and I was sure I was bleeding. My damn inner beast was in turmoil, banging around in my head and attempting to overpower all rational thought in an effort to make me claim my mate. I forced it down, ignoring the pain, and looked Orion in the eye.
“I plan to stay away. I want nothing more than for Jett to find the right person for him. I’m just not it.”
Orion scoffed. “That’s not what fate says. Or Jett.”
My nostrils flared as I struggled to stay calm. “Be that as it may, it’s the truth. I’ll stay away; I cannot be his mate. I apologize for losing control. It won’t happen again.”
Strongfire stood. “See that it doesn’t.” He started to turn away but then stopped. “Oh, and Winston?”
“Yes?”
