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Poppy moved over and gave her a little side hug. “Love has no time limits on it. You should know that.”
“I do,” she said. “The first few days I was so mad and upset that I didn’t want to talk to him.”
“Then you wanted to reach out and see if he was suffering as much as you?” Poppy asked.
“Yeah. I know that is petty.”
“Normal,” Poppy said. “Now you just want to know if he is thinking of you and missing what you two had?”
She began to sniffle. “Yes,” she said. “I just thought we knew each other so well. That he got me and I got him. I don’t understand and am spinning myself up trying to put it together.”
“Don’t,” Poppy said. “No one knows what goes through another person’s head even if they tell you what is in there. Feelings can’t be explained and you know that.”
“No,” she said. “They can’t. I just didn’t think it’d hurt this much weeks later. It never has before.”
“I’m sorry,” Poppy said. “I know it doesn’t help much.”
“It does. You understand. I’m trying to be strong, but at night I just miss him. Then I tell myself that reaching out would be a big mistake. I always thought I didn’t know what I wanted, but it’s him that doesn’t. He doesn’t like clingy and I wasn’t. But then he said he worried I wasn’t being who I was. But I was. It’s like he didn’t believe me.”
“Maybe it’s more he doesn’t trust himself,” Poppy said. “And if that is the case, you are better off. No one wants to be jerked around.”
“That would be worse,” she said.
Poppy got up and left at that. But then Lily came in. “Did I see Poppy in here?” Lily asked.
“You did,” she said. “I think she was going to the plant.”
“I’ll catch her there,” Lily said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “How is that little darling in your belly doing?”
“She’s keeping me up more than Ryder did,” Lily said.
“No name yet?” she asked.
“Nothing,” Lily said. “No flower name. That’s for sure. Nothing with a Z either.”
“That helps narrow it down at least,” she said.
Lily moved in and sat down. “You’re doing well. Sage says you’ve been very helpful with her transition.”
“I’m glad,” she said.
It was keeping her busy. She was learning a lot from Sage and the two of them even went out to dinner the other night. They talked about work and then the area. What fun things there were to do. Not that she was having much fun, but she knew what it was like to move from a bigger area.
“I’ve been wanting to give you some space,” Lily said.
“I’m doing fine,” she said. “I really am.”
“I figured. Poppy was in here helping, wasn’t she?”
“She was,” she said. “She’s good that way.”
“Poppy probably understands you the best. I know your sisters are here too, but you can come to us for anything. We are like a family.”
She felt her eyes fill after she’d thought she’d gotten control of herself. “Thank you for that. When I’ve had relationships end in the past, it hurt but never this much. I always got over it so quickly. Why is this harder?”
“I know you don’t want to hear this but maybe because it meant more. And if it did for you it could for him too. He could just need that time to work it out in his head.”
