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Brooks watched as both of the sisters left.
Once they were alone, he said the first thing that came to his brain. “I’m miserable.”
“Isn’t that the norm for you?” she asked. She was picking at her sandwich.
He wanted to laugh but didn’t. He had that coming. “Pretty much,” he said. “I guess I deserved that.”
“Yep,” she said.
She was so much stronger than anyone gave her credit for.
Maybe more than he did.
Which was another mistake on his end too.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He supposed he should have led with that.
“For what?” she asked.
“For being an asshole.”
“We know you’re good at that too.”
He smiled this time. “I’ve been told that enough. But this time for telling you I needed space. For hurting you.”
“If you need it, that’s fine. Say it,” she said. “But it’s the way you went about it. As if you didn’t believe I could be good for you. That what I was saying and doing all this time we’ve been together has been a lie.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve been confused for months. My problem. Not yours. I told you that.”
“I didn’t believe you at first, but now I do,” she said. “Because I’ve had weeks to think about this. To think about everything. I don’t know that I could have done anything differently. I think we’d still be in this situation if I had.”
“You’re right,” he said. “I know that too. It’s hard for me to say this. To admit it to anyone. That I’m scared. Everything was moving too fast for me and there were times I wanted to slow down and others speed it up. I’m not used to so many conflicting feelings.”
“I told you that you had insecurities,” she said. “But you can’t get people to see things if they aren’t ready for it. I learned that the hard way myself.”
“Don’t do that to yourself,” he said.
“I’m not going to,” she said. “Not this time. I learned that I’m stronger than I ever thought I could be. I learned that having self-control and not giving in to be with a man all the time is a good thing. I learned that I can go on without you.”
It’s not what he wanted to hear. “So you don’t want to give me another chance?”
“Is that what you want?” she asked. “I need to know what you’re thinking and feeling. I need you to understand I’m not going to wait around for you to make up your mind on what it isyouwant or need while you keep changing your mind either.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said. “It’s not fair.”
“No,” she said. “It’s not.”
“Do you love me?” he asked. “You said that as you slammed out the door. I need to know if you feel that way.”
“I’ve never lied to you once,” she said. “I do love you. Even after everything that has happened. I guess that doesn’t say much about me.”
“It says a lot about you,” he said. He moved closer to her. He had to touch her. Hold her. Feel her body next to his. “It says that you’re willing to give me another chance. Even if I have to get on my knees and grovel. Or maybe buy out an ice cream shop.”
She laughed. It was the first time since he’d come back here that her face softened. “The ice cream would be nice. No reason for you to get on your knees. I wouldn’t make you do that.”
So many women would. He was crazy to ever think she’d be like other women and should have never judged her that way.
Ivy stood and went into his arms willingly. “I want you to talk to me, Brooks. Don’t keep it in. If you have doubts about me or us, let me know.”
