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“What’s going on with you and Brooks? It’s been a few months.”
She figured she might as well take advantage of this. She could use all the advice anyone wanted to give her.
“I thought they were going so well. On my birthday he took me out to dinner and then we didn’t even go back to his place. He just wanted to give me a nice night and not have me think he only wanted to be with me because of sex.”
“Which is very sweet considering the agreement you two had.”
Guess Poppy had filled Lily in. “Do you think I’m a horrible person for doing what I did with him? I’m not a slut and don’t want anyone to think that.”
She felt her eyes start to fill with tears.
“No one thinks that, Ivy,” Lily said softly. “I think everyone is more worried that you’re sensitive and you care so much what people think of you.”
“I wish I didn’t care that much. It’s hard though.”
“It’s very hard to not care what people think of you,” Lily said. “I know that. Rose will tell you that you need to get a thick skin. Poppy will tell you that you have every right to feel the way you do. I agree with Poppy.”
“I try not to be a baby. Or care so much, but again, it’s hard.”
“I don’t think you’re as much of a baby as you think. I believe you were told it so much as a child that it’s hard for your sisters to see you differently now. I might have been guilty of that myself with Poppy. I think that is why I can see it in your situation.”
“Thank you for that,” she said. “Here is my problem with Brooks. The first night we spent the whole night together he was sweet. Almost gentle.”
“And for Brooks that is saying something,” Lily said. “I don’t remember him much in school, as River was closer to my age, but it’s a small area and not a big school district.”
“So you did know Brooks?”
“I knew of him. He wasn’t a bully or anything like that. But he was the sharpest blade in the set. Not someone to get close to or you might get cut easily. He’d gotten into fights.”
“He told me. He swung his fists a lot because kids made comments on their upbringing.”
“That’s right,” Lily said. “As someone who grew up poor, I knew how hard it was. Brooks was very protective of his siblings. He didn’t like anyone saying anything about his parents.”
“He was raised well,” she said. “I can see it.”
“Money isn’t everything in life. I know you are aware of that.”
“It’s not,” she agreed. “But after that night, he’s cooled off.”
“How so?”
“We’ve had one to two dates a week. I’ve spent the night two more times. But he’s just not as warm. Or soft. Maybe not even caring when we are together.”
“Do you think it’s possible that he’s scared?” Lily asked.
“I doubt Brooks is scared of anything in life,” she said, laughing.
“We are all scared of something, Ivy.”
“I guess you’re right. Maybe he is. But it’s not like I can ask him that. He’d deny it.”
“I think you’ll know whether he’s telling the truth or not if you decide you want to even ask.”
“I don’t think I want to embarrass him that way,” she said.
“Then you might know your answer already,” Lily said.
“It’s possible,” she said. “I appreciate you saying it. And listening. I know you’re busy and have news to tell everyone else.”
