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Squinting, I take in every detail, committing it to memory but failing to compare it to the last time I was here. Everything I have known is tainted by that dreaded night. The pain I felt and the confusion it left makes me wonder if the exterior walls were always that sickly, pale gray. Were the window frames always black? The front door so boldly onyx too?
I can’t even tell which was my room from here but, as soon as I start to consider it, I quickly shut it down. Those are attachments we have zero care for.
It feels the same, yet completely different all at once. I don’t know whether that’s because it’s so foreign to me now or because I’ve grown since then, but now it’s just brick and mortar. It doesn’t hold any more value than that.
“Come now, Raven. You insisted,” my father demands, waiting on the porch, but my feet still refuse to move.
I agreed to pack up my bag, the very one my mother brought with us when we left here, and follow his word if it meant I could see Mama first. There was tremendous reluctance on his part, but he eventually agreed.
Now that I’m standing here, I wish I hadn’t pushed the issue.
This place isn’t good for me. Amberglen was supposed to be the beautiful home where I would grow into a sweet girl, running through flowers and being carefree, but the hand I was dealt led to a completely different life. This place is just as haunting as Shadowmoor now.
Pursing my lips, I look to the window to the left of the porch and instantly see Mama's silhouette. I know it’s her without question. Her petite frame, arms folded around herself as she looks down at the ground. As if sensing my eyes on her, she inches closer to the window and meets my gaze.
The pain is there, the disappointment at the situation. Whether it’s for me or herself, I can't tell, but it's thick in the air as I gulp.
“Raven, Silvercrest is a prestigious academy for highly gifted and respected families. I agreed you could come here on the way because I assumed it would be a quick visit. If you insist on dragging this out I can change my mind and take you straight there,” Papa grates in irritation, folding his arms over his chest and stretching the Monarchy-issued suit across his sizable frame. That’s what is most important to him. His job, his role in what he believes to be the greater good.
I don't recall what that is anymore, but I remember the raised voices in the house. It was always about him, his job, and Mama’s lack of understanding.
Mama never gave me a full explanation of why we left, but over the years I’ve come to assume it’s because of Abel and the corruption within The Monarchy. Him summoning me back and demanding I change my life may as well be law. I can’t outrun him and I refuse to try, it would only make me look weak.
“You know I’m a Void, right? She’s told you that?” I match his stance, leaving my duffel on my shoulder as I fold my arms.
“It’s not possible for you to be a Void. Now, will you move this along, or shall we skip this little reunion and proceed to the academy? You’re going to have to do something about your hair too.”
Pompous asshole. He irritates every damn bone in my body. No one is touching my hair. It’s pink because I chose for it to be that way. The center part I wear, though, is there to fall on either side of my face and hide the shadow markings I gained when I first stepped into the darkness. The small black star by my right eye is a stark reminder of where I’ve been and what I’ve escaped.
Escaped.
Rolling my eyes, I don’t let him stray from the point I’m trying to make. “There is no point in me attending a gifted school when I don’t have agiftto wield,” I point out, not moving an inch.
“I didn’t create a Void and neither did your mother. It’s not possible. It will all be taken care of at the academy. Now, what shall it be?”
Growling, my teeth grind with frustration. I fucking hate the way he says ‘now.’That’s one thing I do remember as a child. Back then, it made me afraid that I was in trouble.Nowit makes me want tostarttrouble.
I look up to see Mama through the window and find her leaning closer this time, her eyes fixed on mine as she shakes her head.‘Go’she mouths, cracking the ice wall around my heart as disappointment burns through me.
I don’t know what I expected coming here. It’s pitch-black but still not as dark as it gets in Shadowmoor, and, once again, I’m being sentenced to a life I didn’t ask for. Do I want to return to the troubled shadows back home? No.
My knuckles ache, my skull still vibrating from the headbutt earlier.
Could Silvercrest be any better? Surely it can’t be worse. Either way, it beats the bullshit I’ll get if I stay here any longer. I have nothing going for me, nothing in this life that feels any more substantial than the shadows I’ve become so comfortable in.
I look at the house, Mama, and the man I’m supposed to call my father before looking back at the car parked behind me.
Settling my gaze on Mama again, the pain is apparent in her eyes as she mouths, ‘I love you.’My chest tightens, confusion rippling through my veins. I know we’re not the closest these days, but shit… she wants me to leave without a word. What the fuck is that about? As if sensing my frustration, a rumble of thunder vibrates across the sky as her eye twitches and tears stain her cheeks.
A calmness washes over me, a decision made in my mind.
“I’m done here.”
“I’ve told you, Raven, you—”
“I said I’m done,” I repeat, louder this time, as I point over my shoulder. “Take me to Silvercrest.”
His grin instantly spreads across his face, the lines marking his forehead disappearing as pride settles over him. Fucker. “And your mother?” he asks, pushing, just like I remember.
