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“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
Give me strength with this man.
“I’m more than aware that things can look fine on the surface, but that doesn’t always mean the inside matches. I need to know that you’re okay in there, too,” I state, tapping my temple. His jaw ticks and I take a step toward him. “Complete honesty, please.”
He swipes a hand down his face and relief instantly rushes through me at the fact that he’s not trying to brush me off with a genericI’m finestatement, but this is still Brax, so I never know what I’m going to get. As much as I’m desperate for an answer and eager to push him along, I keep my mouth shut as he tries to process everything in front of us.
The second he starts rubbing at the back of his neck in irritation, I know it’s not good.
“Fuck. I don’t know, okay?” he bites, nostrils flaring as he pushes up on his knees to stand, immediately taking a step away from me. Followed by another and another until he’s standing in front of his bedroom door. “You all just need to give me a fucking minute.”
His door slamming shut behind him efficiently puts an end to the conversation.
Eldon moves first, but he barely gets two steps before Creed’s hand on his shoulder halts him in place. “No, let him have a minute. It’s not every day someone tells you that you just died.”
My heart clenches at his statement. “Or that someone brought you back to life,” I add, the words feeling foreign on my tongue.
“Shutting us out isn’t going to help,” Eldon says with a sigh as Zane cuts the remaining distance between us and comfortingly drapes his arm around my shoulders.
“And forcing him to communicate will only make it worse,” Creed protests, and as much as the truth has my insides tightening in knots, we have to give him a chance to handle this his way. To begin with, at least.
“So what do we do now?” Eldon looks at each of us for an answer, but we don’t have one that will make all our troubles and worries go away. We’ve got some things to think about.
When none of the others reply, I reach for Zane’s hand, squeezing for silent support. “We control what we can.”
“Which is what?” Creed asks, finally dropping his hand from his friend's shoulder.
“Getting this grime off our skin. Fresh bodies, fresh minds, fresh everything, then we can start addressing all of the fucking elephants in the room.”
* * *
Water beats down on me,every droplet discarding the reminder of what we just lived through, yet the scars are already burrowing themselves deep beneath the surface. This is exactly what I meant when I tried to explain everything to Brax.
On the surface, am I alive? Yes. Will I get through this? Yes. Will I stand tall, take on any challenge, and fight with every ounce of effort I have to survive? Yes. But will every image live rent-free in my mind? Yes. Will the reminder of the pain I felt at seeing Brax’s lifeless body live inside of me forever? Yes.
It’s a mind fuck. All of it. A mind fuck I could quite easily wallow in, or I can choose to focus on the one thing that’s kept me going in life so far: survival.
The latter will always be my first instinct, and that’s no different today. That doesn’t stop the dull ache in my bones or the tiredness that lingers in my every breath from consuming me. I’m exhausted.
I need to sleep, then I can actually focus on the revelations of my magic and let reality set in before I attempt to broach the subject with the guys. There are a lot of questions that I’m not ready to dive into until I’ve slept so hard I won’t remember my name when I wake.
Running my fingers through the length of my hair, I shut off the water and reach for the fluffy cream towel on the vanity. I hum in appreciation for the comfort the softness gives me as I wrap it around my body before re-entering my room.
I squeal, jumping back a step when I find Leila sprawled out on my bed. Her blond hair is splayed out around her as she lies on her back, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it.
“What the fuck, Leila?” I blurt, hand on my flushed chest as I gape at her, but she simply rolls over to look at me with a smile on her face.
“I’m glad to see you’re okay too.” She lifts herself so her legs dangle off the side of the bed, relief flashing in her eyes as she takes me in from head to toe.
The surprise quickly evaporates and I rush to her, tightly draping my arms around her shoulders. “I was so worried,” I murmur, reluctantly leaning back and grabbing onto the edge of the towel so I don’t lose it.
“I’m so sorry, Raven. My father dragged me out of there to safety despite my best efforts and pleas to find you.” She looks down at her lap, embarrassment staining her cheeks, and I quickly shake my head.
“Good.”
Her eyebrows pinch together as she stares at me. “No, not good, Raven. You were—”
