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“Why not?” I was jittery, filled with anticipation and disappointment and something I didn’t have a name for but was probably straight-up horniness. I had never wanted anything as badly as I wanted to tangle my naked body with Luke’s. It had to be tonight. Had to be now. I didn’t know how I could survive it otherwise.
“You taste like whiskey.” His mouth was on mine again, his tongue searching mine for more of that taste. “That’s why.”
“I’m not drunk, Luke.”
“Well, I might be. I feel drunk. It’s either the whiskey or it’s you.” He kissed the corner of my mouth, then dragged his lips along my jaw to my ear. “Fuck, I think it’s you. It’s definitely you.”
Oh,god. I melted against him. I had been half in love with this man my entire life, and if he kept saying things like that, I was going to be in serious danger of being all in.
“You’re not drunk either,” I said. “You only had the one shot all night, and if I’m not drunk, then you definitely aren’t.”
His lips curved in a smile against my neck. “Keeping tabs on me, huh, Red? Had your eyes on me all night?”
I ignored the question to save my pride. “Anyway, who cares if we’re both a little drunk? You can’t tell me you’ve never had sex when alcohol was involved. I’m sober enough to know I want this, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Red.” His eyes glinted at me in the moonlight. “There is no doubt in my mind that you want this and I want this. And I’m not going to tell you that I’ve only had stone-cold-sober sex, because we both know that’s not true. I’m not going to lie to you. What I’m telling you is that this time is different.”
“Because it’s my first.” I recoiled, frowning.
“Yeah, honey. Because it’s your first.”
I had a lot to say about that, but he started walking, pulling me along with him. “Your teeth are chattering. Let’s get you inside.”
I expected him to lead me to the bunkhouse he had converted into a hiker hostel, where Jasmine was also sleeping for the night, but instead he led me to the main house, which he shared with Ethan.
“What are we doing?” I whispered.
“You don’t have to whisper. Ethan sleeps like the dead.”
The house was dark. My eyes adjusted enough to see hulking, shadowy shapes of furniture. Luke held tight to my hand, guiding me through the rooms.
“What are we doing?” I repeated, still whispering. I couldn’t help it. Put me in a dark room, and I whispered.
“Going to sleep.” He didn’t whisper. Maybe dark rooms had no effect on him. He opened a door, nudged me through, and shut the door behind us with a quiet click. He flipped on the light.
I blinked at the sudden brightness. “There’s only one bed.”
“Of course there’s only one bed. It’s my bedroom.”
Oh, my god. “You changed your mind?”
“Hell, no. We’re here to sleep, Bethany.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled at him. “I’ll have you know, Luke Buchanan, that virginity is nothing more than a societal construct invented by men to control women. There’s nothing special about it. I’m not going to become a completely different person afterward just because I’m no longer a virgin. There’s not even a word for that, for a person who’s had sex. It’s just another first, like riding a bike or eating a burger.”
He laughed. Literallylaughed, the arrogant asshole. Then he grabbed me by my scarf and tugged me closer.
“Baby, I know all that. I’ve been with virgins before, although not in a good long while. It might surprise you to know I was a virgin once myself, as a matter of fact.”
“Don’t tease me, Luke.” I tried to push him away but he held on tight. “Will you please be serious?”
“Iamserious, Red. I’m serious when I tell you I agree with every word you said. Maybe having sex for the first time is no more special than having your first burger. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m saying you’re not making the point you think you’re making. Because to me,allyour firsts are special. But this one, you put into my care.”
My annoyance melted away with every word. Why did he say these things to me? Didn’t he understand his effect? He unwrapped the scarf from my neck, unzipped my coat and slid it down my arms, then threw both onto a chair in the corner.
“If I had known it was your first burger, do you think I would have let someone else make it for you? Hell, no. I would have made it myself, and it would have been the best burger of your life. All other burgers would be trash after that.”
“Luke,” I murmured as he knelt at my feet, slipping my boots off one foot at a time, “are you saying you intend to ruin me for sex?”
