Page 63 of Break My Fall


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Sam had been right after all. I had been denying his words over and over in my head, so sure there was no way Nico would want me like Sam suggested, and all along he had been right.

“Don’t. I already figured it out. I came here to tell you this. I didn’t want to rush you, but I needed you to know how I feel, but I get it. I’m too late,” he grumbled angrily.

“Too late?” I repeated, still lost in confusion and astonishment.

“You’re already with them, aren’t you? They want you and you love them? I can see it when you all look at each other.”

“No,” I finally found some words. “I’m not with them, but yes I do love them. I’ve always loved them, since I was fifteen years old.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you, sweetheart. It sucks for me, but all I care about is that you’re happy,” he told me genuinely. I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke and it cut me to the bone.

“You make me happy too, though,” I confessed, realizing it was now or never. If I didn’t open up and tell him how I felt, he would leave and I may never have this chance again. “I can’t explain it, but something inside me feels better when you’re with me, Nico. The first week here, I missed you so much. I can’t call it love, because we don’t even know each other that well yet, but I have these incredibly strong feelings for you. I don’t understand it, but I do know that I feel safe and peaceful when you’re with me. I think…I think maybe I’m falling in love with you too, and I think I have been for some time. I just never expected you to ever see me that way.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re so beautiful and smart. You make me smile, which is no easy feat,” he chuckled. “You’re everything I ever wanted in a partner, Maddie, but like you just said – you don’t know me that well, and the others, they can offer you so much more than I ever can.”

“I don’t care about any of that. Money doesn’t mean anything to me. Edward had money and he made my life hell.”

“But you do love them, right? And they’ve told you they want you?” he asked.

“Yes. They made their feelings known. They want us all to be together.”

“Well you know that kind of relationship can work. Look at Mia. I was worried when she told me she was dating all three of my teammates, but they have a wonderful relationship now. They’re happy together.”

“I know, believe me. I’ve been thinking about Mia’s situation all week as I tried to decide what I want. I think it could actually work out for us, but something has been making me hold back and I know what it is now.”

“And what’s that?” Nico asked.

“You. My feelings for you. I want to be with them, Nico, but I’m greedy. I want to be with you too. I know how crazy that sounds, but I can’t just walk away into the sunset with the guys and forget how I feel for you. My heart won’t let me. It’s too strong, the way I feel. It’s demanding to be acknowledged.”

“So where does that leave us?” Nico asked the sixty-four million dollar question.

“I honestly don’t know. I’m not even sure I’m ready to get into another relationship yet. I have Edward to deal with, and this pregnancy, not to mention Willow and the fact I have upended her whole life. She has to come first.”

“I completely understand that. Of course your kids are your priority. I just needed you to know how I feel.”

“I’m glad you told me.” I smiled as I slid my hand over his on the table. “I don’t want to mess you around, but I just….I’m gonna need time. I have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Take the time you need, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me. “I’ll try to stop being an asshole too. It was just so hard when I thought I had no chance with you, seeing you with them. I was being a jealous idiot. I’m so sorry I upset you.”

“I’m just relieved I didn’t do anything to make you hate me,” I told him, once again tearful.

“Never, Maddie. I could never hate you.”

“Will you have to go back to Chicago soon?” I asked, hating the words as they came out. I didn’t want him to go.

“I’m not in a rush. Mia and the guys have things under control. Nate’s due back next week too. They can handle things for a while,” he replied, instantly soothing my fears. “I like being here with you and Willow.”

“We like having you here,” I told him. We loved having him there and never wanted him to leave. Problem was, I couldn’t imagine a future without Kai, Hunter, and Cameron in it too. Things were a mess, but in the best possible way. I had the four guys of my dreams telling me they wanted me. It was a dream come true, so why did it make my head hurt so damned much?

CHAPTER 17

MADDIE

Two weeks had passed since Nico and I had our talk and in that time things had settled down. Hunter, Kai, and Cameron hadn’t pushed any more for an answer from me, and Nico was just back to being himself, and my friend.

The days had passed quickly. Willow was having the time of her life with four guys who were always willing to play or listen to her random conversation. She adored Sam and could often be found stood on a chair at his side in the kitchen, helping him cook or bake.

Hunter had arranged for her to see a child psychologist once per week, because she was still having the occasional nightmare, but the psychologist, Dr Finn, had sat us down after the first appointment and assured us Willow seemed to be adjusting well to all that had happened. That was a huge relief to me, but we decided to keep up the appointments for a while, just to give Willow an outlet if she wanted to talk about her father with someone who wasn’t me.

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