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We’ve never cuddled after a show before. Normally, we’re too busy looking at numbers to do something like that. We usually save our cuddling for later, for when we’re hanging out on Auggie’s couch. But this time, without either of us saying a word, that’s what happens next. I lay my cheek on Auggie’s bare chest, and he pulls me to him and strokes my hair. And that’s how we remain, silently, for several minutes, until Auggie speaks first.
“I can’t wait to kiss you,” he whispers. I can hear his heart thundering against my ear.
I’m surprised. When he started that sentence, I thought he was going to finish “I can’t wait to . . .” with the words “fuck you.” But the fact that he’s ended it in such a wholesome way, after everything we’ve done together, honestly makes my heart go pitter-pat. After only a few pitter-pats, however, anxiety suddenly flickers through me. Are we both starting to feel thingsthat could fuck up my plans and goals? We agreed anything we do off-camera would be no strings attached. And I’ve told him I want nothing more than to get a new job and get back to my old life. Well, the truth is my feelings on those things haven’t changed, despite the fun we’ve been having. Even when Auggie makes myheartgo pitter-pat, mybrainalways knows we’re in a bubble together. One that’s admittedly amazing and perfect while we’re in it; but it’s plainly situational and won’t last when the situation is over.
“It’s okay,” Auggie says, before I’ve figured out how to respond to his lovely comment. “I know you’ve got big plans, Charlotte. I know this is no strings. Don’t worry; my brain fully understands the situation.”
Aw, poor Auggie. The subtext of his comment was clear enough: hisbrainfully understands, even though his heart is experiencing some measure of confusion.
I clear my throat and pat his bare chest. “Let’s check the numbers. I’m dying to see them.”
Without making eye contact, Auggie sits up and grabs his computer. He presses a few buttons and gasps, and then silently tilts his laptop toward me.
The number on his screen makes me scream. We’ve made the most ever during this show. Clearly, we’re on a steep, upward climb, in terms of our earning power, and there’s no peak in sight.
“At this rate, we’ll have the money for Carlo with a full threedays to spare,” he says excitedly.
“Okay, but let’s not take our foot off the gas when we get there, okay? If we reach our goal earlier than expected, we’ll keep going so we can bank some big money for you—so you can pay your full tuition, instead of only half. You don’t need a payment plan hanging over you and stressing you out.”
Auggie shoots me a lopsided grin. “That’d be amazing. Thanks for thinking of that, Charlotte.”
I take his hand. “Of course. You’ve done so much for me. You’re my hero—my knight in shining armor. I should be wrapping your whole bodyin tin foil, not only your dick.”
I’m expecting him to chuckle with me, but he doesn’t. In fact, he looks downright tortured. “Hey, I just, uh, remembered I’ve got a big test tomorrow. I’d better get some studying in.”
That felt weirdly abrupt. Also, not very convincing. I mean, yes, I’m sure he’s got a big test tomorrow. They test the fuck out of those poor vet students. But it feels like Auggie was thinking one thing while saying another.
“Okay, good luck,” I say. “And don’t worry, once we cross the finish line on all the money we need to give Carlo, all rewards shall be administered without delay. The shows we’ll do after that to raise money foryouwon’t affect the administration of any and all promised rewards, whatsoever.”
I was hoping my clarification would wipe the pained look off Auggie’s face. No such luck. With a tight smile, he stands and quickly starts throwing on his clothes, so I do the same.
When we’re both dressed, I open his bedroom door and find Lucky waiting patiently behind it. I scoop our fur baby up and kiss his little snout. “Sorry we left you out here again, buddy, but Daddy was busy fucking Auntie Charlotte’s face in front of a bunch of horny strangers, and we didn’t want you to see that.” I glance at Auggie, hoping this time I’ve made him smile genuinely. But it’s clear I’ve only made matters worse with my comment. In fact, Auggie suddenly looks like I’ve punched him in the gut.
Oh.
Fuck.
Daddy andAuntie Charlotte.
I bet that’s it.
Duh, Charlotte.You’re such a dumbfuck sometimes. The boy just basically confessed he’s catching feelings for you. Surely, hearing you refer to us that way—rather than as Mommy and Daddy—only drove the point home that you don’t foresee a future for us, despite how incredible this little fling has been.
As I walk across Auggie’s living room toward his front door, he says behind me, “The new video camera got delivered while I was at school today. I’ll bring it to you when I drop off Lucky tomorrow morning.”
“If it lets me play those cassettes, I’ll watch as many as I can while you’re at school.”
“Thanks for doing that. There’s no rush, though. I know you’re busy with the condo.”
“It’s not a bother at all. I’m curious what’s on them.”
“Are you sure you want me to drop off Lucky again tomorrow? You don’t have to keep—"
“Yes, I’m sure. Ilovehanging out with him. I’d be upset if you didn’t bring him to me every morning.” Damn it. There’s definitely something Auggie’s holding back. Something on his mind that’s making this moment feel stilted and awkward. I reach his front door and turn around. And for a beat, he looks into my eyes with a forlorn look on his face, like he’s dying to say something but stopping himself.
Finally, Auggie forces a smile and says, “You killed it today, McDougal. They can’t get enough of you.”
They, huh? “You killed it today, too. You were on fire. Both on- and off-camera.” Poor Auggie. He doesn’t have an exhibitionist bone in his body, and I know it. So, I’m sure he’s got conflicting feelings about his newfound career as a porn star. Knowing that only makes it even more impressive to me that he’s been willing to go to such lengths to help me get every penny needed. “Goodnight, Auggie,” I say, breaking the thick silence. “Thank you again for everything. I’m sorry I got you into this.”
