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I’m tempted to roll over onto my other side, so I don’t have to fake a smile. But the allure of Charlotte’s smiling face is too great. I pull her to me and hold her close and tell myself to savor the here and now and not let my stupid brain think about the future or anything else.
“This is the safest I’ve felt in a really long time,” Charlotte whispers into my chest.
I kiss the top of her head. “Good. Sleep well, beautiful. I’ve got you.”
“I know you do. I’ve got you, too, beautiful.”
I kiss her hair again. And a few minutes later, her body goes slack in my arms.
I lie awake listening to Charlotte’s rhythmic breathing for a ridiculously long time, despite how exhausted I am. Until eventually, I finally reach a place, mentally, where I can make a firm deal with myself: from this moment forward, I’m going to live in the present moment and be happy with Charlotte, for however long this amazingness lasts. It’s far better to appreciate and enjoy happiness, as it’s happening, after all, than to waste that same precious amount of time feeling heartbroken it won’t last forever.
24
AUGGIE
One week later
We did it.
Fuck yeah.
It’s just after four o’clock in the afternoon on Friday—exactly one week since we arrived at Tessa and Ryan’s gorgeous house—and we’ve now made every penny needed to bring with us on our flight to New Jersey tomorrow. At the moment, Charlotte and I are driving in my car to our building to pick up some stuff for our trip tomorrow, and from there, we’ll head to the bank to withdraw all our cold, hard cash. We crossed our sixty-thousand-dollar finish line today around noon, which means we still have some time before picking up Tessa and her family at the airport this evening to put on a couple more shows and bank some extra cash for me.
We could have reached our finish line for Carlo’s money well before today—maybe as much as three days ago—if we’d abstained from all the off-camera sex we enjoyed this week and instead used every available moment and every possible bonerand drop of sexual energy for shows, shows, shows. But fuck it. We both knew we’d get the money in time, even if it was on the last possible day, because I’ve been carefully tracking our trajectory the whole time. So, we decided to make the most of our time together in paradise, both on-camera and off. I’m so glad we did. It was the best week, ever.
I turn onto our street and easily find an open stretch of curb across the street from our building. As I pull into the open spot, I quip, “It’s our lucky day in more ways than one.”
Charlotte giggles. “It’s a glorious day.”
We exit my car and begin trekking up the pathway toward the front door of our building, hand in hand. We’re practically floating. So relieved we’ve met our goal, our feet are barely touching the ground.
“Coming back here to live, after spending a week at Tessa and Ryan’s snazzy house, is going to be a tough pill to swallow,” Charlotte jokes.
“This place is a hovel, by comparison.”
She chuckles. “Their house would be my dream house, I think, if only it had an ocean view.”
There it is again. Charlotte frequently lets me know, if only subtly, that she still plans to return to LA, the same as she ever did. Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive and reading into her comment.
I press the code to the front door and open it for Charlotte. As we enter the lobby, I say, “Staying at Ryan and Tessa’s place has made me rethink my career goals, somewhat.”
Charlotte looks puzzled. “In what way?”
We stop at the mailboxes and open our respective boxes.
“Just, you know . . . I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t be quite as selfish as I’ve always been in terms of planning my ideal career.”
Charlotte closes her mailbox and squints at me. “Selfishin what way?”
I shrug and look down at the short stack of mail in my hands. It’s all junk, as usual.
“Auggie, how are your professional goals selfish?” Charlotte prompts.
We head to the elevator and press the call button.
“I’ve always been singularly focused on what I thought theperfectkind of veterinary practice would be forme, personally. As anindividual. But that kind of practice wouldn’t put me at the high end of the income scale for veterinarians, so maybe I should compromise a bit, in order to make more money, so I can afford a house like Tessa and Ryan’s one day.” The thing I’m not saying, of course, is that, if Charlotte dreams of winding up in a house like Tessa and Ryan’s, I’d be willing to shift my professional dreams and goals a bit, if it’d mean she’d wind up in a house like that withme.
We step into the elevator. As the doors close, Charlotte says, “I think your dreams are the mostunselfishI’ve ever heard. Since middle school, you’ve always wanted to help the most helpless of creatures. Knowing you, I don’t think you’d be completely fulfilled in your life, if you did something else, so please don’t.”
