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“How are you feeling?” he asks. We both slept on the flight, so this is the first time we’re chatting since takeoff. He juts his chin toward my crotch area, making it clear he’s asking how I’m feeling in relation to all my piercings.
“Sore,” I admit. “I’ll be relieved when I can finally remove everything after the birthday party.”
Auggie shifts his weight like he’s got ants in his pants. “Same here.Yeesh.”
We both laugh.
We would have taken out our piercings by now, but we didn’t get the disinfecting solution the guy recommended after leaving the piercing place last night, and then we had to speed to the airport at the crack of dawn this morning to catch our flight. Which, as it turned out, was delayed for hours. And now, thanks to that delay, there’s no time to swing by a drugstore before heading to the birthday party. I’m sure we’ll remove our piercings at our hotel tonight, once we get our hands on that solution. Either way, though, we won’t be having sex for at least a week, per the instructions of the piercing dude, so in that sense, it doesn’t really matter if we get everything out tonight or tomorrow, since our fun little vacation in New York will be PG-rated, regardless. I definitely foreseelotsof kissing and making out in our near future, though.
The ripple of movement at the front of the plane reaches us, so I waddle up the aisle, gingerly, toward the exit, taking great care not to rub my intimate bits together as I go, while Auggie follows behind, presumably doing basically the same thing. When we exit the tunnel contraption and enter the wider gate area, I say to Auggie, “C texted he’ll be picking us up at baggage claim. Thanks to our delay, he’s able to pick us up and drive us to the party, after all.”
Auggie’s blue eyes widen. “I’d rather take a cab.”
“He’s already here. And it’s for the best, Auggie. Everyone at the party would expect C to come get me. He’s a very chivalrous person, and everyone knows that. They also know our split was amicable, and that C still considers me his good friend.”
Auggie looks stressed, but he says nothing.
A sign directs us to an escalator for the baggage claim area, so we board it together and ride down silently. When we reach the bottom, I say, “There’s nothing to worry about. We’ve paid the money. Our only job now is to confirm our innocence by showing up with happy, smiling, innocent faces.We can do this.”
Auggie exhales. “There he is.”
I look, and, yep, Carlo is standing a short distance away near a crowded baggage carousel.
“Smile,” I whisper to Auggie. “From this moment on, we don’t have a care in the world. We’re a happy couple on vacation.”
“Happy, happy,” he deadpans.
“Carloooooo!” I say brightly, my arms outstretched, as we close the gap between us. “So great to see you!”
“Hey there, sweetheart,” Carlo says, before pulling me into a bear hug and pecking my cheek. “You’re looking beautiful, as always. How was the flight?”
“Delayed quite a bit, as you know, which was annoying. But once we got in the air, we both crashed after takeoff and only woke up at landing.”
“Good for you. That’s always the best way to fly.” He extends his hand to Auggie. “Hey there, big guy. Good to see you again.”
“You, too. Thanks for the lift.”
“You bet. Were you walking kind of funny, just now? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just a bit stiff from the long flight.”
“Gotcha. Happens to the best of us.” Carlo points to the two rolling carry-on bags on either side of Auggie. “Which one contains the you-know-what?”
My heart stops. “Don’t play like that, Carlo.”
His face drops. “I’m not playing. Ifyouare, then don’t.”
I look at Auggie, suddenly too stressed to form words, and he comes to my rescue.
“We gave it to your colleague yesterday in Seattle. He came to get it from us, peryourinstructions.”
Carlo’s face drains of color. “Did he give his name?”
Auggie and I look at each other. Did the guy ever say his name?
“I-I don’t think so,” Auggie stammers out.
“No, he never said it,” I confirm.
