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Auggie squeezes my hand. “You’re so damned smart, Charlotte. Like when you told you-know-who about that so-called dream job.” He chuckles. “You handled that perfectly. The last thing we need is for you to owe himagain, only this time for doing you a huge favor.”
My pounding heart suddenly thuds into my toes.Shit.I forgot about the job offer I’ve failed to mention to Auggie. I take a deep breath and speak on my exhale. “I was telling the truth to Mr. DiMarco. I really did get a job offer today, right when we landed. All the details I mentioned at the party were real.”
Auggie looks shell-shocked. “Oh. Wow. C-congratulations. W-when do you start?”
“I haven’t accepted the offer yet. They gave me forty-eight hours. If I take the job, I’ll need to be in Dallas for training on Monday.” He looks like I’ve punched him in the stomach. We’ve got big plans to paint New York City red together, starting tomorrow. If I take this job, we’d have to scrap those plans. But even more disappointing for Auggie, I’m sure, is the thought that this job, if I take it, would almost certainly be the death knell of our situationship. I mentioned all the most pertinent details to Mr. DiMarco while Auggie looked on. First class. Regular route servicing JFK to Heathrow and back.Based in New York.So, Auggie has to be cataloging all those details in his head now and realizing this job would likely mean the end of us.
“Why haven’t you accepted the offer yet?” he asks. “It seems like your dream job, from everything you’ve said you’re looking for. Do you want to negotiate more money?”
Yeah, it’s my dream job—except for the part about it being based in New York. Doesn’t Auggie realizethat’sthe sticking point for me—the reason I didn’t immediately replyfuck yes—because the thought of not seeing him every fucking day of my life, the same way we’ve been doing, breaks my heart?
“It’s not about the money,” I reply evenly. “The salary and benefits are better than I made at my last job. It’s more that I want to take some time to think about being based in New York. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I want to sleep on it and think about everything tomorrow with a clear head.” Could I rationally forego the job of a lifetime, literally, to give atwo-weekrelationship a chance to continue to grow and flourish into something lasting? That’d be far more than a leap of faith.It’d be a nosedive into the Grand Canyon.
Auggie looks anxious before looking out his side of the car, so I look down at my hands in my lap and try to corral my own anxieties.I notice the ring on my hand—Althea’s beautiful ring—and feel a surge of emotion overtaking me. Through thosecassettes, I’ve come to love and adore Auggie’s grandma, even though I’ve never actually met her. Knowing she wore this ring, and adored it, made me feel proud to wear it today. Also, as dumb as this sounds, I liked wearing Auggie’s engagement ring today,period. It felt nice on my finger. It felt right. I liked introducing him around as my fiancé. No, Ilovedit. Frankly, I’ll be sad to take this ring off at the hotel. Sad to be single and un-engaged and back to reality again.
Auggie looks away from the window to level me with blazing eyes. “Charlotte, listen to me. I think you’d wind up regretting it if you passed up this job. If the time you’re taking to think about it has anything to do with me, then take me out of the equation. Put yourself first. You don’t do that very often. That’s clear to me now. You take care of everyone else. This time, I want you to take care of yourself and nobody else.”
My spirit sinks into my toes.
I know he’s trying to be supportive and encouraging. I know he’s looking out for me. I also know, two weeks ago, before I’d ever laid eyes on Auggie Vaughn, I would have accepted that job offer in two seconds flat. But the thing is, Ihavemet Auggie Vaughn, and I’ve now felt things with him I’ve never felt with anyone else. Even in the midst of turmoil, I’ve had the time of my life with this sweet, sexy, adorable man.
The woman I am today understands what he’s trying to do. He’s putting me first, above all else—even his own heart. His own desires. But the little girl in me, the one who was raised on fairytales and rom coms and boy bands, can’t help feeling disappointed he's not fighting tooth and nail to keep me by his side, the same way the tin-foil-covered prince always slayed every fire-breathing dragon to keep the princess byhisside during our earliest puppet shows.
I hold Auggie’s blue gaze, feeling conflicted. Rejected. Confused.Grateful. Hell, I don’t know what I feel, to be honest.I do think he’s right about one thing, though: if I don’t take this job, I’ll probably wind up regretting it. Wondering “what if?” Objectively, it really is the opportunity of a lifetime. The best job I could possibly hope for in my line of work. Accepting it should be a no-brainer—and, logically, the no-strings-fun I’ve had with Auggie shouldn’t change that. “Thank you,” I say. “I think you’re right. I’ll reply when we get to the hotel to accept the position.”
Auggie subtly recoils, like I’ve slapped him across the face, even thoughhe’sthe one who just told me to take the fucking job. If that’s not what he really wants, then he’d better say so.And right fucking now.
I stare at him, nonverbally telling him to beg me not to go, and Auggie gnaws on his lower lip like he’s considering saying something. But in the end, he forces a smile and says, “Congratulations, Charlotte. You deserve this.”
Fight for me, Auggie.That’s what my eyes are trying to convey. I can’t promise it would make any difference in the end. There are no guarantees in matters of the heart, and the odds are stacked against us. But what if itwould? There’s only one way to find out.Fight for me. Fight for us.
“Looks like our trip to New York is off, huh?”
I exhale. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll need to head back to Seattle tomorrow, so I can pack up all my stuff and clear out the condo, get a real estate agent to help me figure out next steps, and then fly out to Dallas on Sunday to be there in time for training on Monday.”
Auggie’s Adam’s apple bobs. “That money I owe you—the extra you took out on your credit cards.”
“We’ll get paid in two weeks.”
“But if you run into any issue at all with interest before then, I can go back to doing solo shows to—"
“Don’t do that. The new job comes with a signing bonus of ten grand, so I’ll be able to pay off all my cards with that. Anddon’t you dare go back to doing solo shows, Auggie. You hate doing them. You need to figure out another way, going forward. If I’m going to put myself first, then you need to promise to do the same.” Why are we talking about money, when I want to know what he’s truly thinking and feeling?
I stare at him again, nonverbally begging him to speak his truth, but he doesn’t say a word. Instead, Auggie exhales a long, tortured breath, looks out his side window, and remains mute. So fuck it. I do the same. I’m irritated we’re talking about money, rather than our feelings. And I’m annoyed he’s not covering himself in tin-foil and doing whatever it takes to be able to say, “And they lived happily ever after.” This time, not in a stupid show, but for fucking real.
We reach our hotel, and the driver pulls up in front of it. Auggie pays the tab with cash, and we exit the car and head to the trunk to retrieve our rolling bags.
“Thanks,” I say, grabbing my bag from the driver.
“You bet,” the driver replies. But as he’s heading back to his driver’s side door, Auggie calls out, “Hey, can you wait a minute? I think I’m gonna need a ride to the airport.”
What?
“I’ll run the meter while I wait,” the driver says.
“That’s fine. Thanks.”
My voice tight, I choke out, “You’re going to the airport?”
