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CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT - KATIE
Idon’t look at him, but I hear him step back, and I listen for his steps as they retreat down the hall. I feel stupid. He is a liar. My heart hurts. I am used to being let down. By people who I thought were friends, by people who legally had to raise me, but for some reason, I didn’t think Eddie would make me feel this way. I have no idea what it is like not to live on the poverty line, and he is a man who has never had to worry about it at all. Not even once. I bet he has never eaten packet ramen in his life.
I look at the baby in my arms, who is now sleeping soundly. He fussed a bit as I spoke, so I kept my voice low and calm so as not to startle him. He has already been through so much in his few weeks on earth; he doesn’t need my shitstorm of a life impacting him further.
I feel sick. The heaviness in my gut almost has me rushing to the bathroom. The anxiety swirls, familiar but not welcome. Boys have never treated me right. Ever since I started to develop, men have shown an interest. The problem with being the poor kid at school was that the popular boys always thought they could just do what they wanted because they never got in trouble. I remember being ten and Jimmy Dennison pushing me against a wall and shoving his tongue down my throat while all his friends laughed and lined up for their turn.
That was my first kiss.
Then I remember when I was sixteen, walking home late after staying in the school library until it closed. It was the warmest place I had. The cold apartment where my foster parents lived offered nothing but nightmares. Steve stopped his car when he saw me walking on the side of the road. He picked me up. I was excited because I hadn’t seen him in a long time, him being a few years older. He had aged out of foster care and didn’t really keep in touch. When he offered to take me to a party, I said yes because I was cold and hungry, and at a party, there is normally food. I was happy because I was with Steve, and I was about to eat.
That was the worst night of my life.
I breathe out, trying to steady my nerves. I thought Eddie was different. I thought I was really getting my chance at a normal relationship. I wonder what else he has lied about. Eddie. Edward Rothschild. I struggle reconciling them both. Of course, it is the same man, butisit the same man? Is the Eddie I get the real Eddie, or is he just some rich dude trying to get his kicks?
I wonder if the media have caught on. I don’t really spend time watching the news, and I steer clear of social media. It fucks with my mind, but I have a suspicion after seeing Shelley’s reaction that the fact that his mother is in hospital may already be a trending topic.
His mother.
I forgot about her in all of this. His head must be a mess of emotions. I personally have no idea what it would be like to have a loved one in the hospital, but I see it every day. My heart clenches, but I squeeze my eyes shut. He has softened me, and I need to build my walls back up. I need to keep him out. There is no future for us. While it may take me a while to erase the imprint he made on me, I am merely a blip on his radar. As Shelley says, he will have women lining up for him. That thought alone makes me vomit a little in my mouth.
As I sit in silence, the minutes pass, and looking through the window, I see it is getting dark outside. It is time for me to go. I have hidden in here long enough, and I now need to go home and not think about a certain billionaire every time I look at my kitchen sink.Or my kitchen counter.Or any other spot in my apartment, for that matter. I sit up from the armchair slowly, my body stiff from sitting here for so long. I am surprised that Tracey didn’t come and check on me, as I must have been here for a few hours. Slowly, I place the baby in his bassinet and wheel him into the nursery room, where a team of nurses will look over him and feed him through the night. I stroke my finger against his tiny hand, feeling his soft skin underneath, and give him silent prayers for a warm, comforting night and a long happy future.
I shuffle to the door and a yawn breaks through as I grab my bag and walk out to the hallway. I look up as I shut the door and abruptly stop. Eddie is sitting on the floor at the door. His jacket is off, his tie undone, and his shirt sleeves rolled up. He’s looking more like the Eddie I know in a crumpled shirt. He should be with his mother, but he is here. Along with the three other men who look exactly like him.
“Hey…” he says, scrambling up from the floor and looking a little sheepish.
I swallow down my surprise, but don’t say anything. What else is there to say?
“This is my brother, Ben. He is the lawyer,” Eddie says, making an introduction.
“Nice to meet you, Pinkie. We have heard lots about you,” he says, extending his hand. I take it automatically, feeling skeptical, but not wanting to be a total bitch.
“This is my oldest brother, Harrison, governor of Maryland.” Eddie introduces his other brother, who gives me a tired, but big grin, which is oddly charming.
“Katie, Eddie here has obviously not done the right thing, but he means well. It is a pleasure to finally meet you,” Harrison says very diplomatically, and I shake his hand and nod.
“This is Tennyson…”
“I’m the good-looking one,” Tennyson interrupts, stepping forward and putting out his hand. “Eddie is a dickhead for not telling you the truth straightaway. Make him work for it,” he says, giving me a wink, not unlike the way his brother does, and I bite the inside of my cheek to dampen the smile that threatens to surface.
His brothers clearly have his back. Eddie rolls his eyes before stepping toward me.
“I swear, the only thing you didn’t know about me was my last name and my bank balance. Everything else you got was me. I'm just Eddie. I'm Eddie to those who love me the most. My brothers. I'm just Eddie with you,” he says and each of his brothers nods in solidarity. I know he is trying, but I’m bone-tired, still confused, and I just don’t see how we can even work anymore. We are too different. Polar opposites.
“I’m tired. I need to go home. You should be with your mother,” I say to him quietly, almost on autopilot. The uncomfortable feeling of locking down my emotions rests heavy on my shoulders. Eddie looks heartbroken. He steps forward and wraps his familiar hands around my waist, brushing his head to my cheek before whispering, “I am still the same man, just with a few zeros at the end of my name. That’s it, baby.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t even have a number…” I whisper back, hoping he can understand. We are not on an equal playing field. We are not even in the same universe anymore. I grew up without food most days. He grew up with a silver spoon and a fucking driver. How could we ever be together? I can’t keep up with his lifestyle. What could a girl like me ever offer a man like him?
Stepping back, I look at his crestfallen face and swallow. I was so close to being happy. I really thought I may have found it. But as usual, happiness isn’t for a girl like me. It is just not meant to be. I walk past Eddie and his brothers as they all look at me with concern etched on their faces, and I take a different turn than usual to head out the side entrance of the hospital, away from the busy emergency and cardiac wing.
I make it only a few steps before I hear him following me. I keep my head forward and walk steady, making my way out of the hallway and toward the exit.
“Pinkie,” he says, his voice low, but sounding urgent. I keep walking. I can’t falter now. I need to remain strong, be the girl I always was, no longer the new me I tried to be.
“Pinkie!” he repeats, a little louder. His determination has my steps faltering, and I stop. Swallowing, I wait for him to catch up, which he does in two strides.
“Pinkie, listen I…” is all he gets out.
