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“That’s a good idea,” he says with a smile on his face.
I don’t want to ride in the ambulance but I sort of have to, given my car isn’t drivable and the EMT guilts me into it because I’m pregnant. They make a concession, though, and let me sit in the “captain’s chair” rather than on the gurney. I’ve never been in an ambulance before and I had no idea there was a chair a patient could sit in, but I gladly take it.
On the way, I call Anna and tell her about the accident. She makes arrangements for her mother to take Avery and assures me she’ll meet me at the hospital.
“Don’t tell Malik,” I say before she hangs up.
“I won’t,” she assures me. “Not as long as things are okay.”
“I’m fine. Just a precaution to get a checkup because of the baby and obviously, I’ll need a ride home.”
“All right… hang tight and I’ll be there soon.”
When we get to the hospital, I’m triaged quickly, given that I’m pregnant, and put into a curtained room. The nurse hands me a gown and instructs me to change into it, which I do, then I sit in one of the two chairs rather than on the bed. I’m determined to make this seem not as serious as it could potentially be.
When the nurse comes back in, she’s pushing a rolling piece of equipment. “The doctor is going to need to do an ultrasound,” she explains.
“No, he can’t.”
She blinks at me in surprise.
“I mean… I want my husband with me for the first ultrasound.”
The nurse glances at her watch. “Well, it will be a little bit before someone from obstetrics can get here. How soon can he get to the hospital?”
I shake my head, tears coming hot and fast. “He’s out of town.” And he doesn’t want me to be pregnant, so that’s a bit of a sticking point.
The nurse places her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, honey. You really need to have it done.”
I nod, wiping at the tears. “Yeah… I understand.”
“Is there someone who can be here with you?” She reaches over to a box of medical-grade tissues and pulls several out to hand to me.
“My sister-in-law is on her way.” I dab at the tears. “What exactly will I see on this ultrasound?”
“Given that you’re only approximately seven to eight weeks along, not much. But the biggest thing we’ll want to do is confirm a heartbeat.”
“Okay,” I say, gusting out a sigh of disappointment. I’m going to lose that first moment when we hear our baby together.
For a brief flash, I consider calling Van. He’d be at the visiting arena, doing pregame prep. I could tell him I’m pregnant, I was in an accident and that I’m scared. I could have him on FaceTime with me while we did the ultrasound.
Just as quickly, I discard that idea. It would mess up his game. It would mess him up… I mean, major fucking with his head and I can’t do that.
Besides, I’m never going to lure him back with the baby. I know he’ll do the “right thing.” He’ll come back to me because of the baby, even though he doesn’t want it. He’ll be terrified the entire time and our marriage will crumble anyway.
I’m not doing that to either of us.
“I’m here,” Anna says as she jerks the curtain back. Her attention lands first on the nurse before moving to me freely crying. Her hand claps to her mouth. “Oh, God… did you…?”
She can’t bring herself to ask, but I shake my head. “We haven’t done the ultrasound yet. Wanted you to be here first.”
I don’t share with Anna my desire to have Van at my side. No sense in even going there.
In the end, I’m in the emergency room for almost four hours. The ultrasound was quick and I heard my baby’s heartbeat as Anna squeezed my hand. The doctor assured me all was well. They wanted to x-ray my shoulder as the pain had increased and dark bruising started showing up. I declined but did have to wait for an orthopedist to examine it.
It was a long, exhausting ordeal, but I came out knowing the baby was okay. When we got home, Anna tried to get me to eat something but I was honestly exhausted. I wanted to go to sleep.
After she left, I trudged up the stairs, wanting the comfort of a mattress rather than the couch. The doctor said I could safely take Tylenol for the pain, but I didn’t because it was bearable.
