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‘Sex isn’t something you have to cross off a list in order to make you a woman.’ His eyes narrowed as they bored into hers. ‘I know what all this is about. You’re worried you won’t be able to act sexy to the camera when you’ve not actually had sex. That’s it, isn’t it?’
Maybe there was a grain of truth in his words — but there was also so much more to her invitation than that. She did want her first time to be with someone special. Him. Yet how could she let him see her feelings now? He’d not just turned her down, he’d as good as laughed in her face.
‘So what if it is? Lots of people have sex together for far worse reasons than that.’
* * *
Nick hoped to God Lizzie couldn’t see through the cold mask he was wearing and into the emotional pit lying beneath it. She was offering herself to him on a plate, and yet here he was, turning her down. And none too gently, at that. But damn it, this wasn’t how he’d imagined it happening during those restless nights when he tossed and turned, dreaming of her. If she’d told him she loved him. Wanted him, fancied him, liked him even, as a man, not a friend. That was all he needed. Heaven knew, his body was only too game. But this wasn’t anything to do with him. He was just a handy male she happened to trust.
‘Thank you for thinking of me,’ he ground out, ‘but I’m going to decline the invitation to take part in your experiment. You’ll have to find someone else. I’m sure you won’t be short of offers.’
Stiffly he stood up from the bar stool and walked away. Out of the marquee, out of the party, and into the night. He’d begun the evening planning to tempt Lizzie into a date. Maybe even a kiss. Hopefully, the start of a relationship. Though he hadn’t wanted to scare her off, in his mind he’d even pictured marriage and children one day. He was ending the evening walking into the night alone, having just turned down her offer to help rid her of her virginity. As if it was a hurdle to be overcome, not a prize worth savouring, keeping until she could give it to the right man. And God knows, he clearly wasn’t the right man. Not in her eyes. She had her heart set on bigger adventures than him.
With a sigh he pulled out his phone, punching in the number of the local taxi firm. He’d had enough of mooning over Lizzie Donavue. She was off to America to start a new life. It was about time he sorted out his own.
* * *
As he climbed into the arriving taxi, he was unaware of a willowy blonde figure watching from the house, tears running down her face. Sod Nick Templeton. She didn’t want to lose her virginity to a man who didn’t want her, anyway. She was off to New York, to the career she’d always dreamed of. She didn’t need Nick any more. She didn’t need anyone.
* * *
Two Years Ago
It hadn’t stopped raining all day. Perhaps it was fitting. A grim day to match the grim scene in front of them. Not one, but two coffins being slowly lowered into the ground. A simple wreath of white lilies on each. Nick reached out to put an arm round Lizzie’s shoulders, desperate to offer whatever solace he could. She flinched from his touch, just as she had when he’d flown out to New York straight after the accident. His heart tore at her rejection, but he pushed away the pain and continued to hold her, needing to offer the comfort as much as he knew she needed to feel it.
He glanced sideways at her face, wondering how she was still functioning. He knew what it was like to lose parents; his own had died during his first school summer holiday. When he and his sister had gone to bed they’d had parents. When they’d woken up, they were orphans, thanks to a faulty gas fire in the master bedroom. It had left him devastated, and he’d been too young to really understand the consequences.
At twenty-four, Lizzie knew exactly what the two oak coffins meant.
Once the brief graveside ceremony was over, the mourners began to move away. Lizzie stayed, head bowed, not bothering to wipe the tears that streamed down her face. Gently he tugged at her arm.
‘Time to go.’
Vehemently she shook her head. ‘No. I’m not leaving them.’
His heart crumpled. ‘You have to, Lizzie. People are going on to the house. They’ll expect you there.’
‘I don’t care.’ She glared up at him. ‘How can you expect me to leave them? They shouldn’t be there, not in that horrid cold grave.’ Her sobs grew louder.
He fumbled in his pocket for another tissue, but they’d all gone. ‘Look, I understand how you feel—’
She rounded on him before he had a chance to finish. ‘No you don’t. You can’t possibly know how I feel right now.’
‘I understand how it feels to see a parent buried,’ he reminded her quietly. And damn it, he’d loved her parents, too. Not like she had, sure, but he felt their loss.
‘And were your parents coming to see you when they died?’ she railed at him. ‘And was your sister in the car, as my brother was? No. So don’t tell me you know how I feel.’
Briefly he closed his eyes, the pain etched on her face too much for him. Robert had been in the same car as his parents that fateful night, all of them travelling from John F Kennedy airport to visit Lizzie. Her brother, his best friend, had been the only one to survive the crash — if you could call what he was doing surviving. It was early days, but the doctors weren’t hopeful of Robert ever being able to lead a normal life again. After seeing him in the hospital last week, wired up to machines and looking totally lifeless, Nick didn’t think a miracle was likely.
‘Okay,’ he conceded, fighting back his own tears. ‘I don’t know how you feel, but I do know standing here isn’t the answer. You need to say goodbye to your parents and come back to the house. Talk to the people who’ve come a long way to mourn with you.’
He started to pull at her arm, to guide her to the car, but she yanked it away. ‘Leave me alone. I don’t want you telling me what to do, Nick Templeton. I’ll go when I’m good and ready. You can bugger off.’
He bit back a reply, telling himself her rant at him wasn’t personal; he was the handy punchbag. Hell, he was happy to take the beating if it helped her get things off her chest. ‘I’ll wait by the car.’
Desolately he trudged back to the car, leaving her alone by the graveside: a tall, slender blonde, her shoulders shaking as she cried.
* * *
