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She was his, unequivocally his and there was no doubt about it. He found the strength to ease out of her and onto his side. Gathering her against him, he held her close, his body still shuddering, heart still pounding inside his chest.
She curled into him; her face mashed into his chest. "I suppose you already know you are forgiven," she whispered.
He chuckled, the tension and tightness in his stomach, getting lighter. "Am I?
"Yes." She kissed his damp flesh, the hairs tickling her. "I love you Wade."
His body quivered. He had needed to hear it.
"I know, my sweet." His fingers caressed her, moving slowly to soothe her. He knew every crevice and corner of her body. Was familiar with every curve of her flesh. "And I should have resisted you. I feel like an animal."
"As if you could." She snorted. Lifting her head, she met his eyes. "Did you have to go to New York or was that something to avoid me?"
He grimaced at that. "I could have done it over the phone." He lifted one broad shoulder. "You made me so mad that I could not think straight. I could not come home to you.
I would have said things I would later regret. You are the only person who can get under my skin like that." He brushed the hairs from her cheek. "You have the ability to twist me up like a pretzel."
"It works both ways." She was humbled by his admission. "I could not sleep."
"I checked on you before I left." His hand strayed to her throat where her pulse was beating unsteadily. "I came in to get some clothes and I stood there looking at you. I was torn. I wanted to wake you so that we could have it out, but I was irritated and angry that my sleep had been interrupted and you were sleeping like a baby."
"I finally managed to drift off in the early hours of the morning. I spent the damn night staring at the wallpaper. I kept hoping you would cool off and come back. You have never slept away from me before and I kept hoping that maybe you were working to blow off steam and that you would be back.
When I woke the next morning, you were gone." Her fingers brushed over his shoulder and then his chest. "I could not believe you had left without us having it out. I never want to feel that way again."
"In the future, we will argue it out," he promised. "I could not concentrate on a damn thing. I kept looking at my phone-" A smile touched his lips. "I asked Corinne if you had called and felt like an idiot when she said no."
"I am sorry darling.” She snuggled against him and felt herself steadying. "I know I can be a little stubborn-" She stopped at his lifted brows. "More than a little. But I am still working through my issues.
I decided when I got out of that toxic situation with my parents that I would never allow anyone to control me again. Living with them, felt as if I was in a cage, that there were bars all around me and I never wanted that again."
His eyes sizzled. "You think I would cage you in? Try and control you? For God's sake-"
"No!" She placed a finger over his lips. "No. You have shown me more freedom than anyone else. It's my mind, the years of being subjected to their toxicity. I don't want to project Wade, but sometimes I cannot help it. I have flashbacks and when that happens, I get angry and scared.
I go back and I am trying not to. I am working on not going back, but I do and it is not fair that I take it out on you." She bit her lip. "You happen to be the best thing that ever happened to me and sometimes I wonder how long it will take you to realize that you can do better. I-"
"Stop it." His fingers gripped her chin to yank her face up. "You are better. My God, Remi, you are my light, the dawning of an exceptional day that I never knew existed. I have done better, more than, when I met you.
You generate life and hope and love, something that was lacking in my childhood and even when I became an adult. I never had that, darling, and when I met you, it just flooded in, sometimes-" He shook his head.
"Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm me. I can feel the weight of it, washing over me and it leaves me breathless and unable to fully function. I hate that you have these memories, these nightmares and I want to change it, I want to be able to help you through them."
Her eyes were blurry with tears. "I don't have the words the way you do. You always know what to say to make me weak, make me humble and beautiful. I feel as if I am the most beautiful woman in the world-"
"How can you even doubt you are?" he demanded. "You outshine every other woman in the room. Whenever we go out, I am so proud to have you next to me that I want to shout it out loud and have everyone realize how fortunate I am."
The tenderness on his handsome face had her trembling. How on earth had she gotten so lucky? Was God making up for the hell she had gone through in the past?
If so, she was incredibly grateful and all she could pray and hope was that she would not mess things up. She would always think he could do better, but he loved her and she was so grateful she could barely stand it.
"I had lunch with the girls after the thing at the shelter and we were talking about our men." She touched his chin, her finger tracing the shallow indentation. "I wanted to get a feel of how it was to be married to men like you. Powerful men in society and I did. I understood." her eyes met his.
"I want that, Wade. I want to wear your ring and have your name. It's not enough to be carrying your child. I want it all. I thought that marriage was a trap and as soon as the doors closed on that trap, there was no getting out. I want to belong to you in every possible way."
He had gone still when she began and now he could scarcely believe what she just said.
"You want to marry me." His voice was thick, fingers gripping her arm. "You said-"
