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“You saying he expects you to pay for him, or something?”
“No! He definitely doesn’t need that.”
“Then what?”
“It’s that I just want a simple life here with my family. His life is so much bigger.”
“So, there’s nothing you can do to work it out? There’s no way you can meet in the middle?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you try before you two broke up?”
“No,” I admitted embarrassed.
“Why not?”
“I… I… Jesus, I don’t know. I thought I had to let him go so that he would be happy and I could be here to take care of you all.”
“You can’t do that, Cage. You can’t make me and Mama the reason you gave up on the guy you love. Don’t put that on us. Fight for him!”
“I thought I was supposed to be the wiser, older brother,” I said trying to be light-hearted. Nero wasn’t having it.
“Then act like it, bro. Fight for Quin. Go after the man you love!”
Nero was right. Everything he said was right. There was a middle ground between what Quin needed and what I needed to do. I had been too caught up in the storm of emotions that came with having a new family to see it before now, but there was.
What was I thinking giving up on Quin without a fight? Yes, he needed to change the world. And that might take him away. Or, maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe there was a way for him to change everyone’s lives from here. Maybe Nero could take care of Mama whenever I needed to visit him.
In either case, I wanted Quin in my life. I wanted to hold him and make love to him. I wanted Quin to be the one I told my secrets to and I wanted to be that person for him.
I didn’t need to play football to be that guy. I didn’t need to be special in any way. All I had to do was to keep choosing him no matter what. And what I was realizing was that it didn’t have to be a choice between my new family and the love of my life.
“Oh God, what have I done?”
“Go after him!” Nero insisted jolting me to get up.
My thoughts swirled. I didn’t have his phone number. I had deleted it. I needed to find someone who had it. I needed to get back to my truck.
Jogging back down the path, I slowly hobbled into a run. I felt weighed down. My cast was holding me back. Did I even need it anymore? I was sure I didn’t. So, kneeling, I clutched the crumbling cast in my hands and tore it off of me.
Tossing it aside, I felt like I was on the football field again. I hadn’t felt this free in months. My strides were long and strong. Jumping over streams and across ravines, I arrived back in a fraction of the time it had taken to get out there.
Sprinting inside, I raced to my pile of stuff on the floor.
“Why are you in such a rush?” my mother asked as I searched for my keys and shoes.
“Mama, I love you, but I made a huge mistake I need to correct.”
“Did you finally come to your senses about your boyfriend?”
I looked back at her shocked.
“How did you know?”
“I’m your mother. A mother knows these things,” she said with a smile. “Now, go get him.”
I smiled unable to love her more.
