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I looked at Cage.
“We knew you were going through something and everyone’s here to help.”
“How do you know I’m going through something?”
Titus stepped forward. “You weren’t exactly subtle about it,” he said with a painful smirk.
I tried to gather the strength to apologize to him but couldn’t. Instead, I fell back onto my truck sitting on the bumper. Seated, I couldn’t hold any of it back any longer. I cried. I wept for the mistakes I had made. I wept for the people I had hurt. And I wept because so many people were standing in front of me now.
How many of them had I hurt as much as Titus? Maybe I hadn’t hit them. But I had never been a good student or teammate. Lord knows I was a shit employee. I could never get anything right.
“I don’t understand. Why are you here?” I begged through the tears.
“Because we care about you,” Cage insisted.
“Yes,” Quin confirmed.
“That’s why we’re here,” Titus said confidently.
“But you don’t understand. None of you do.”
“Then tell us,” Cage said softly.
I scanned the faces of the more than 20 people staring at me and then leaned into Cage.
“Mama didn’t want me. She only… “had” me, as a replacement for you.”
“I know that’s not true.”
“But, it is.”
“If you don’t believe me, then she can tell you.” Cage turned and yelled back at his truck. “Mama! She wasn’t sure you’d want her here.”
I watched as my mother got out of the backseat. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but the woman approaching me wasn’t the same one I had had to take care of for so many years. She was even different from the one who had told me about my conception. She looked stronger, more confident.
“Mama?”
As she approached, she opened her arms inviting me into them. I went. I wasn’t sure when the last time was that she hugged me. She wasn’t a hugging type even before her brain crashed. But I was beginning to realize that I never knew who my mother was.
“I’m so sorry, Baby. I’m sorry for so many reasons.”
That was when I again lost it.
“You are the strongest man I know. The things that you have had to endure. I could never make it up to you, my son, my beautiful baby boy.”
I grabbed my mother and bawled. Years of pain flooded out of me. I howled with anguish. With the gates open, there was no stopping it. She just stood there holding me. I never wanted to let her go.
I don’t know how long it was before I was able to again gain control of myself. Realizing that everyone I knew was watching, I looked up embarrassed.
“I’m sorry,” I said wiping my raw eyes.
“Don’t be, Bro. Everyone here is someone who cares about you. There’s no need to be ashamed of who you are. We all know what pain feels like. We’re here for you. Whatever you need.”
I looked around at the nodding heads. I didn’t have the strength to figure out if what he was saying was true, so I believed him. It felt good to believe that I wasn’t alone, so I did.
“Why here?” Mama asked looking around.
I looked at her and got a flash from seven years ago. My chest clenched. She must have noticed because she took my hand. I looked down at it again realizing how different she was.
