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But, maybe Claude was right. Maybe it was up to me to make my opportunities. Maybe it was time for me to decide what I wanted.
Allowing my mind to jump from one thing to another, it finally settled. There was only one thing that I truly wanted. It was as clear as the sky over the mountains in front of me. What I wanted more than life itself was Lou.
I left Dr. Sonya’s driving around as I thought. What was I willing to do to have him? I was willing to do anything. So, what did that mean?
As it got dark, I returned to an empty home and made something to eat. Knowing I would be heading back in the morning for class, I went to bed early. Lying in the darkness I came up with a plan. I was going to tell Lou how I felt. I couldn’t do it over text. It had to be in person.
In the middle of my first class the next morning, my phone buzzed. It was Lou. I read it and all of the others he had sent.
‘Where r u?’
‘Aren’t u coming?
‘I need to talk to u.’
‘Seriously, where r u?’
‘UR freaking me out.’
This morning’s text was different.
‘I need you. Please talk to me.’
I knew what he needed to talk to me about. He had gotten engaged. He wanted me to be happy for him like I always was. Usually, I liked being his biggest cheerleader. Lou was a fantastic guy. I was sure he didn’t see how great he was. I was only too glad to remind him when I could.
But, I couldn’t do this for him. I couldn’t pretend to be happy that he had gotten engaged to a guy who he had known for two weeks. There was no way.
I loved him. I wanted to be with him. And there was no way Seymour, or whatever his name was, knew how incredible Lou was.
‘6:30 at Commons,’ I replied breaking my silence.
He sent back a heart emoji. It made me smile.
I wasn’t making a mistake. Lou had to have feelings for me, right? I was the guy he returned to after all of his dates. I was the one he came to when he was sad. I was his guy.
And when I told him I loved him, he would know he had made a mistake saying yes to that other guy. He would then break off his engagement and we could finally have the life we were always meant to have.
For the rest of the day, I did my best to pay attention in my classes. But it was hard to take my mind off of what would be the true beginning of my life. I had loved him for so long. Nero had seen through me months ago. I was into guys and the only person who meant anything to me was Lou.
Returning to my dorm to kill the final hour before we were to meet, I ran into my new roommate, Cali. Amazingly, he had had a growth spurt over the summer. So, the once skinny, dark-haired kid who always had a mysterious look in his eyes, had turned into the quiet, built jock.
He knew it too because he spent most of his day with his shirt off. Luckily, he wasn’t my type. But I was starting to get the feeling that our types were similar.
“Hey,” he grunted when I entered tossing my bag onto the bed and climbing in behind it.
I looked over at him. He had his shirt off because of course he did. He had to have just come back from football practice.
“Hey.”
“You went home?”
“Huh? Oh yeah. I needed to clear my head.” I sprung up. “Wait, do you know a guy on the team by the name of Seymour?”
“Sey? Yeah, what about him?”
“What do you think of him?”
Cali got squirrely and looked away.
