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It didn’t take long to pack everything into my bag and return downstairs. When I did, I saw that Lou hadn’t moved. Looking at him, he still couldn’t look at me. I didn’t bother to say bye.
Exiting through the front door, I headed to my truck. It was clear why Lou’s family liked him so much after I saw what the asshole had driven up in. It was an electric blue, convertible McLaren. I didn’t need to know how much it cost to know how rich his family had to be to afford it.
Maybe he was a better match for Lou than I was. What did I have to offer him past my love and endless devotion? He could probably give Lou the world. And wasn’t that what Lou deserved?
I got into my ten-year-old truck and pulled out of the driveway. I could only imagine what everyone thought as I drove off. I had just been fooling myself if I thought that someone as great as Lou would want to be with someone like me. I had been such a fool.
I was never going to be made a fool like that again, though. Never. It hurt too much. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Lou had told me to leave moments after telling me he wanted to be with me forever. For over a year I had pretended that life was other than what it is. But I had to accept facts.
Nero had moved on without me. My mother had moved on without me. And now so was Lou. I was alone.
Nothing I thought I had was real. Everyone had just been killing their time with me waiting for something better. I was tired of being everyone’s second choice. I needed something real. This pain was too much.
From now on I was going to do what everyone else did. I was going to take what I wanted and only think of myself. I was going to create the life I wanted and not wait for someone to give it to me.
I was never going to let myself feel this way again. Not for Lou. Not for anyone. Never!
Chapter 7
Lou
The last thing I expected to see when I arrived back at the estate that day was Sey. Having not heard from him after I had given him the address, I thought things were over between us. Was I wrong for assuming that?
How could I know that he would show up unannounced? How could I know that he was planning it as a surprise? And what was I supposed to do now that Titus and I had been together?
Sey and I had barely kissed. How could we do more? We had only been on two dates. On the third, he had asked me to marry him. And on the fourth, he was being coddled over by my family.
It was like they no longer cared I was gay. All that mattered was that Sey’s family was one of the few Tennessee families that topped our own. Generations ago, they had worked together. And it was in part because of Sey’s great grandparents that my great grandparents held onto their plantation after the civil war.
It was ironic that I could be the one to merge our two families. I was gay and despised our family’s history. Yet, out of all of the guys I had dated, he was the one who had asked me to marry him. It had to be destiny, right?
Sey and I stayed an extra night at the estate allowing Frank and Martha to gush over him a little more. I definitely didn’t like how he had just shown up without a hint that he would, but I did like feeling like a part of my family for the first time in my life.
I didn’t know what approval felt like until my mother gave it to me because of Sey. How could I break things off with him now? How could anything feel more right?
At the same time, I couldn’t help but think about what I did to Titus. He had to understand why I did it, right? No matter what had happened between the two of us, Sey was my real fiancé.
That didn’t mean that what I felt for Titus wasn’t also real. It was. That was one of the reasons I had Sey sleep in the guest bedroom instead of my bed. But maybe there was more to being with someone than just loving them.
“Your family really liked me,” Sey said as we drove back to campus.
“They did. And they don’t like anybody.”
“They definitely didn’t like what’s his name.”
“His name is Titus. He’s my best friend.”
“Oh. And, why did you tell them he was your fiancé, again?”
“Because I didn’t know you were coming.”
“So, you just told your family you were engaged to someone else.”
“How was I supposed to know that you would show up like that? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I told you, I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“But, you didn’t reply to any of my texts. What was I supposed to think?”
