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“There’s a road to your left coming up. Turn there, drive in for a bit, and park.”
“Shouldn’t we just get out of here?”
“I’m not going with you. I’m only here to talk.”
My heart sank. I prayed it wasn’t true. He was right there. He couldn’t blame me if I was rescuing him from a horrible fate. I could just keep driving. I could have, but I didn’t.
Making the left and pulling as far off the road as I could, I shut off the truck. Lou slowly left the floor and sat close to the door. He couldn’t look at me. My heart ached realizing that he wasn’t coming home.
It took a while for either of us to speak.
“What happened, Lou? Why’d you leave?”
“I left because I had to.”
“What does that mean? You didn’t have to do anything. You went there to break up with him. We had said we would figure everything else out, didn’t we?”
“There are some things we can’t figure our way out of.”
“Like what? What could make you leave school and your friends? You left me and you didn’t even say goodbye.”
“I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I saw you, I wouldn’t be able to go,” he said with tears pooling in his eyes.
“Then you should have stayed.”
“I couldn’t!”
“Tell me why. Tell me how you could do that to us. Explain to me how you could so easily break my heart. I love you!”
“And I love you!” Lou said in an explosion that sent tears streaming down his face. “I did it because I love you.”
“You love me?” I asked having heard it for the first time.
“I do. I love you with all of my heart. From when I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I think about is you. You’re the one who’s always been there and who I know will never give up on me. You’re the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, Titus. You!”
I stared at him achingly confused.
“Then why?”
Lou looked down shaking his head refusing to say.
My heart broke for him. There was something painful going on. In a life that battered him around and had made him feel worthless, there was yet another thing that tore him apart.
I eased across the bench seat and slowly pulled him into my arms. He came without resistance. He wanted to be there. It gave me a glimmer of hope.
“Lou, whatever it is, you can tell me. I think, maybe, you’re trying to protect me. Thank you for that. But, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that the two of us work better when we’re together. Whatever it is, we can figure it out together.”
Lou listened and sniffled. I pushed my fingers into his hair and scratched his scalp. He chuckled.
“Now you’re just not playing fair,” he said with a smile.
“I play to win,” I joked. “You can tell me, Lou. I promise we’ll figure it out together.”
Lou wiped his face on my shirt. I don’t know why, but I liked it. It felt intimate.
