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“A little bit.”
He was silent. I expected him to yell at me. Instead, all I heard were tears.
“I need to tell Remy where you are.”
“I’m begging you, Dillon. Please don’t. This is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would overreact.”
“Hil, I could have lost you for the second time. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you and I could have done something to stop it.”
“Cali is keeping me safe. In fact, he’s keeping me too safe.”
“There is no keeping you too safe, Hil.”
“I think there is. I know everyone in my life is doing everything they can to stop bad things from happening to me. But it all might be too much.”
“Hil, someone has tried to kill you twice.”
“I know. And you’re right. And before that, I had to worry about a rival family kidnapping me and using me against my father. And before that, I had to worry about being shot at because my father was encroaching on another family’s territory.
“Each time it’s for a very good reason. Everyone’s trying to do everything they can to keep me safe. But, from where I’m standing, it just feels like the walls are closing in. This is no way to live. This was what I ran away from, and now it’s followed me here.”
“I’m so sorry, Hil. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. Maybe it’s selfish, but I just don’t know what I would do without you.”
“And I don’t know what I would do without you. So, I understand. But, still…”
“It sucks,” he said, finishing my thought.
“It sucks,” I confirmed.
“I’m so sorry you have to go through this,” he said with genuine empathy.
It took too much out of me to thank him, so I didn’t. Instead, I brought the call to an end and laid in bed wondering how I would make it through another day. Again, resolving not to let it get to me, I got out of bed and checked in on Dr. Sonya.
“Good morning!” I said as cheerfully as I could.
“Good morning!” she said with as much energy back.
Maybe that was why I liked Dr. Sonya so much. Although we were from different worlds, we took the same approach to life. In spite of being stuck in bed, she was still quick with a smile. I understood that. Life was only bad when you let it get to you. If you focused on the good stuff, it was easier to smile.
I had to remember that. I had to focus on all the things I was grateful for. A few weeks ago, I was trapped in our penthouse with only one friend in the world. I had never been kissed, and the only person I’d ever seen naked was my brother. Now I had someone who loved me, strangers who looked out for me, and the view from my prison was the most beautiful view I could imagine. That counted as a win.
“You don’t have to help me to the bathroom. I already went. It took a while to get there, but I started early,” Dr. Sonya said joyfully.
“You didn’t have to do that. I could have helped you. Did I wait too long to check in on you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been fantastic. But I’m going to need to start to do some of these things by myself. There are plenty of things I’ve been slacking off with. They need to get done.”
“If you let me know what they are, I can help you with them,” I volunteered cheerfully.
She waved me off.
“They’re just little things. I’m sure you know how it goes. Sometimes things just need a personal touch,” she said with a smile.
“Of course,” I said, hiding my disappointment that she didn’t want my help.
Leaving her to make breakfast, I headed downstairs. Not seeing Cali, I hoped he had headed to campus for a class. It would have been the first time all week. But seeing his truck through the kitchen window, a wave of sadness overtook me.
I didn’t know when but I knew that all of this would soon become too much to bare. I could feel myself starting to crack. I needed to get out of here. I needed to clear my head.
