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“Living like this, it’s like you’re waiting to begin your life. You’re living it. This is it. This is your life. Commit to it. Put something on the walls. You can always take it with you if you leave.”
That was the end of our conversation. I couldn’t tell what Merri was thinking. I wouldn’t have had to guess if I had asked him about it. But again, I stayed silent.
What was wrong with me? I knew the baby steps I had to make, and I couldn’t even do that. Maybe I was destined to be alone. If not be alone, then at least feel like I was.
Merri was a great guy. I felt more comfortable around him than anyone else I knew. Yet, I couldn’t even ask him how he was feeling. Why? What was wrong with me?
With that movie over, we watched another. Switching to a reality dating show after that, Merri announced that he would take me somewhere where I could see the city.
“We’re losing daylight,” I told him, liking his idea.
“That’s fine. The view’s better at night.”
“Oh,” I said, wondering what he was planning. “Is this something I should get dressed for?”
“Will you need to wear pants? We’ll be outside, so yes, you will.”
I chuckled.
“No. I meant… You know what, never mind. I’ll go take a shower,” I told him.
“I would say, don’t take long, but who am I kidding,” he said, giving me a smile.
“Whatever,” I told him, dismissing his latest jab at the length of my showers.
Vowing to get in and out as quickly as possible, I left the bathroom thirty minutes later to find that Merri wasn’t there. “Well, it’s not my fault if we’re late,” I told myself, returning to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
“My God!” Merri said, banging on the bathroom door. “Aren’t I supposed to be the gay one?”
“I was ready thirty minutes ago,” I said, leaving the bathroom to find him shirtless.
‘Wow!’ I thought without saying it.
“Where are we going again?” I asked him as he entered the bathroom past me.
“You’ll see,” he told me as he closed the door behind him.
Entering the living room, I looked over at the kitchen. There was something unusual about it. There was actual food in it. But not just any food. There were things that would make for a weird non-date.
“Where are we going?” I asked him again when he left the bathroom five minutes later.
“See. Now that’s how you take a shower. Let me just get dressed and we’ll go,” he said, looking incredible wrapped in a towel.
Retrieving the basket from the kitchen counter, we headed to his car.
“So, you’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked both nervous and excited.
“I told you I was going to show you where we are.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, my pulse building with intrigue.
He looked at me with a devilish smile. “You’ll see.”
Driving toward the coast and away from the setting sun, we found ourselves next to a bluff. Cutting across it and stopping at what looked like a national park, we parked the car and got out.
“Where are we?” I asked, confused.
“It’s the Bay Bluffs. It’s a preserve.”
