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“He fought to make sure Claude landed with a team,” Arny said, correcting Merri.
“I’m sure he did,” Merri said, telling me that Jason Rodriguez was his ex.
“Well, thank him for me, if you get a chance,” I told Arny.
“You bet.”
“If there’s nothing else, we’re gonna go.”
“I’ll let you know about New England. But I really think you should be thinking about Seattle.”
“Got it,” I told my agent before heading to our car.
On the drive home, Merri remained silent. He didn’t say anything until we re-entered our apartment.
“This place is a mess,” he said, looking around.
“It’s not neat,” I agreed. “So, Merri, what should I do?”
He looked at me as if struggling with the moment.
“You know what you should do. Didn’t Arny tell you to think about Seattle?”
“That’s what he suggested. But it’s my choice,” I said, looking for an answer in Merri’s eyes.
“I think you should do what’s best for you,” he said, unable to look at me.
“Is that what you want me to do?”
Merri winced at my words.
“This is what we’ve been working for, isn’t it?” he said, getting angry.
“It is,” I admitted.
“Then you should do it. You should go to Seattle,” he told me painfully.
“This doesn’t mean the end of us, you know,” I said gently.
“Of course not. There’s no end to us. Didn’t we establish that I have issues?”
I smiled. He still didn’t look at me.
“I just don’t know how it’ll be never sleeping again,” he said, beginning to cry.
Unable to hold back a second longer, I wrapped myself around him, pulling him to me. He turned and cried in my arms.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I told him with tears rolling down my cheeks.
“You have to. This is your dream.”
“You’re my dream,” I told him. “You’re the man I’ve dreamed of on cold, lonely nights. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Merri directed his tear-filled eyes toward me.
“But, you need to take this. I can’t be the one who keeps you from what you were meant to do. You were born to play football. It makes you feel alive. I know it does. You can’t pass up this opportunity, especially for me. You need to do this.”
Pulling him tight, knowing what I had to do, I took a breath and said, “I’m gonna miss you, Merri. You mean everything to me.”
