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Ugh. I locked my hands behind my back to keep from sharing more than I wanted. Quinn already knew me too well. “See you. Until this is over, I can’t see you.”
He pulled out a chair and sat down with a huff. “Royce…”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to wait for me. I mean it, but I understand if you don’t or can’t or whatever.” Oh, I would understand, but it would also break my heart. I held my breath, waiting for that blow to come.
But Quinn grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. “I don’t completely understand, but I’ll wait for you, pup. You’re worth it, and if you change your mind, all you have to do is call me. I want to be here for you. I need to know you’re okay. It’s the daddy in me, I guess. But not being able to fix this for you is killing me.” He rested his head against my stomach. I couldn’t resist running my fingers through his rich, dark brown hair. “Plus, I care so much about you.”
“I, uh, this is hard. It’s too hard. And if it doesn’t go the way I want…I don’t know. So, I’m not going to take any chances.” I even left the phone he’d got for me that was in Drew’s company’s name on the table.
“Okay.” Quinn stood and kissed the side of my head. “Call me if you need anything. Okay?”
“Of course.”
Walking away from him was hard. I had to hold on to the fact that he said he’d be there when this was over and cross my fingers that it would be soon. In the back of my head, the fear that this could all go terribly wrong swam around. I could lose again. This conservatorship and my father’s death grip on my life could continue for years. If I got any deeper with Quinn, and that happened, it would break us both.
I drove up Nuccio to Palm, not even sure of my destination, simply driving. However, I was moving in the general direction of Todd’s place. There was nothing to see along the road to distract me from my circling thoughts until I got to the Performing Arts Center, but even that wasn’t enough. I normally enjoyed the drive through the small Hillsborough Community College campus area. Not today. Nothing enjoyable today, despite the bright Florida sunshine that normally cheered me. No, this situation felt dire.
I continued on to the Ybor City Museum State Park. There were benches and tables throughout the grounds where I could sit, and I desperately needed fresh air and time to think. After parking, I walked in and found a spot near the center fountain. The sun was high and even though it was December, it was warm out, so I left my jacket in the car.
Though I’d been hoping for clarity, my thoughts circled. Spiraled. There was no peace to be had. All I could picture was long, lonely nights, years and years of going through the motions, and no joy.
This whole thing was ridiculous. I desperately needed puppy time. I missed my pup brothers. Missed the release. It scratched me raw that my best source of comfort and fun was forbidden. If I couldn’t get time with them, maybe I could at least get handler time with Daddy and let Boone come out. It was building inside me, and if I didn’t let Boone out, it would eat me up. I hated the contradiction. I’d already told Quinn I couldn’t see him…but I needed him.
I practically ran back the crappy car, hopped in, and spun the wheel. I cut over to Seventeenth to head over to Quinn’s. He lived in a cute cottage on the other side of Ybor. It wasn’t very far away, and… maybe my moratorium on sexy time with my hot daddy had been premature.
Chapter twelve
Making Up
Quinn
I opened the door and let my pup in. He stepped inside my house and into my arms. I held him tightly, not wanting to ever let him go. I kissed the top of his head, surprised but happy. “Come on.” I stopped long enough to lock the door and draw the blinds. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too. I-I can’t even think right now. This is all too hard.” His hands waived wildly around his head. It was worse than the ear-tug.
“Don’t think, then.” I pulled him over to the sofa and onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and snuggled against me. “My pup, I’ve got you.” I rubbed his back for a minute until he finally sat up. His gray eyes were dark and stormy in the low light. I nudged his nose with mine then he slid in for a kiss. Lips and tongue and hands in my hair. I took all he offered and gave him all I had in return. I let him lead, only going as far as he wanted to take it.
“Need you, Daddy.”
“Mmm…pup, you’ve got me.”
He whined like Boone and nuzzled under my neck again, and I scratched behind his ear. He slid his hands under my shirt, rubbing my skin, my chest, and he hummed in appreciation. “Take off your shirt.”
I obliged while he took his off as well. Mine was faster since I was down to a T-shirt, but Royce had a button-down, so I helped him with the buttons and peeled the shirt off him, tossing it on the floor.
We enjoyed a few minutes of touching and kissing before it became too much. I wanted more but didn’t want to push Royce further than he wanted to go. “Baby…” I rubbed his head, carding my fingers through his silky brown hair. “Do you want to move to the bedroom? We don’t have to. We can stay right here.”
“What are you really asking?” He sat back, wrapping his arms around my neck. “Do I want to fuck? That answer is yes. Let’s go to the bedroom and get naked.”
Decision made. I stood and took Royce with me. He wrapped his legs around my waist, and I gripped him under his ass so I could Frankenstein-walk to my room. The floorplan was kind of a shotgun style, so there was no long hallway to get there, and thankfully, the door was open. I marched in and dropped Royce on the bed.
He bounced a little and cackled. “How about the get naked part?”
My answer was dropping the sweatpants I’d changed into and my boxers to the floor. Royce raised his eyebrows, but before he could say anything else, I grabbed his ankle and yanked him. He giggled as I climbed my hands up his long legs. The slacks he wore were thin and fit his legs and hips snugly. By the time I got to his waist, he was wiggling all over the place. “Be still, pup.”
“Tickles…”
“Yeah? Like this?” I tickled him more until he was laughing hard and shoving my hands away.
