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Holes. There were so many bleeding holes…
“No.”
Her hand was terribly weak, but it still tried to touch me.
I grabbed it and held it so tight. “Mom. I’ll go get you help—”
She started coughing and choking as if drowning. My natural reaction was to try and help her sit up so she would stop struggling with whatever was choking her.
So small. I was too small to save her life that tragic night, but I managed to pull her upper body into my lap…
… “Souls are stronger than blood” …
I’m not sure how long I sat there, holding my mother’s dead body as all my tears competed with the raindrops. I’m not even sure how I eventually stopped crying and let her go. I think my body simply took over. I was numb inside as I let her body slip from my arms. I was cold as I made sure her robe was covering her naked body before I found my way to my feet. I was without any thoughts as I walked back to my bedroom. I was mindless as I opened the closet door to uncover the child my mother had just died for.
Whether it was self-preservation, or wanting to fulfill my mom’s last wish, I found myself back out the window, again reaching up for Everleigh. A little leg hiked over the windowsill, and she let me take her weight as she partly rolled out of the house.
I set her on her feet and stared down at her, wondering if she regretted the sacrifice that just took place. It was a very unfair thing to do—judge a toddler—but my heart had been shattered. Nothing in my life would ever be the same. And I was staring at the reason why.
Her little toes gripped the mud as she stared back, almost as if trying to read me—my deadpan expression. Finally, she asked, “Mama?”
With heavy shoulders, I shook my head.
Did she understand that I had meant she would never be loved by that woman again? Logic would say no, but her teeny bottom lip began to tremble.
Feeling dead inside, I watched the rain soak the black hair that came from a woman I would never know. I didn’t pull away as Ev’s hand slipped into mine. I numbly walked us to a bush at the front of the house so we could hide. There was no sign of the twin intruders, but going back inside the house felt… wrong. All the life my home possessed, had just died.
Walking in the dark, in the rural area, also felt wrong. If the twins returned for Ev, I wouldn’t have a chance of protecting her.
After I crawled behind the shrubbery, Ev holding my hand and following me, I sat down and leaned my back against the house. My little sister, seeming as lonely as me, sat in my lap, snuggling to my chest.
Traumatized, I leaned my head to the top of hers, and I let the rain wash away the tears that began to fall again.
The rain had stopped by the time I saw a headlight at the end of the dirt road, followed by another. The rumbles told me who was coming home. I suddenly felt shame for what Dad was about to roll into. I had failed him.
Epically.
Everleigh now asleep, I did my best to cradle her as I came out from behind the bush. Every step felt like I weighed ten-million pounds while I slowly walked toward the sound of dad’s bike. As soon as headlights caught a glimpse of me and sleeping Ev, bikes roared after throttles were opened wide.
I was muddy and bloody when Dad jumped off his bike. “Duke! What happened?”
A set of heavy boots ran past us and into the house while Dad touched me and Everleigh, trying to find the source of the blood, but all I could say was, “I’m sorry.”
He blinked. “What? Why—” As if realization had just slammed into him, and he doubted he would survive the truth, that man cautiously peered up to see the house behind me. His mouth fell open. “No.” Blood drained from his face. “Noooo.” Then, leaving his children where we stood, he ran. Heavy boots pounded the dirt, and he ran…
Once through the open front door, only seconds passed before he screamed….
That scream of pain… was another wolf howling into the night for a pack to save him.
Chapter four
Daring Scars
Elle
Have you ever heard more than one voice in your head at a time? That’s what it was like to still be laying on the floor, staring at Mammy. Mercifully, the horrible sounds had finally ended. I knew this when Mammy’s red eyes slowly slid shut as if finding relief. Her strained lips relaxed and moved as she inhaled and exhaled, ever so deeply.
To try and help her, I pushed stop on my music player.
