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“I’m not thinking about sex.”Or at least I wasn’t…“I want Xander to get to know his son. He deserves that. He missed a lot.”
“So did you,” she warned. I had missed a lot but mostly because I’d forced his hand and he left. “Let’s do lunch soon. We need to talk this through.”
“Okay. Not that it will help.” I felt helpless to the situation.
“Positive thoughts, Toy.”
She left and I considered what she was saying. Maybe there was a way around this, but even if there was that didn’t mean Xander would choose me. I might have ruined the possibility and the reality of this being it for us made me sick to my stomach.
Chapter6
Xander.
For the last few hours, Toyin had dragged me from store to store shopping for our son. I wasn’t annoyed by our day, but the pull to her and the longing I felt while my wolf went crazy pushing for me to mount and claim Toyin was trouble of a different kind. I had never in my life wanted anyone or anything as badly as I wanted Toyin.
My eyes drifted to the center of the aisle where she stared at endless rows of diapers, hands on her hips, deep in concentration. A temporary fix he would piss in and we would dispose of. The decision shouldn’t have been so complicated but my thoughts weren’t on the diaper decision. They were on the throbbing and pulsing of my dick which had been rock hard since I’d returned home and laid eyes onher.
Even now as she stood with her petite frame torturing me, I knew living together was a horrible idea. Her lower half was covered in black leggings, allowing that damn ass to taunt me. She wore a cropped tee and a short denim jacket that stopped at her waist, providing me with the perfect view. Fuck me.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
“He’s growing so fast. I wonder if I should get half his current size and half the next size up. It’s best to keep a full stock. The worst is realizing at two in the morning that you’re down to the last diaper and you have to make a quick store run.”
I snapped out of my lustful thoughts and glared at Toyin. “You left the house at two in the morning to get pampers? With our son?” The weight and authority in my tone had her turning to frown at me.
“No, I didn’t. I ordered them. They have services that work all hours of the day and night but if I’d needed to, I would have. It was only me caring for him, Xander. Let’s not forget you left us…”
I made a correction. “You… I leftyou. I didn’t know about him.” Another low blow but shit, this was hard and neither of us wanted to be wrong. “You also weren’t alone. You had Laz and Zion. Seems like Zion was more than willing to do whatever you needed him to.”
Was I jealous of my own brother?
A little.
He and Toyin seemed incredibly cozy but he wouldn’t do that to me. He knew she wasmine…
“Laz and Zion both stepped up inyourabsence. Zion more than Laz. Jo got pregnant not long after me and I didn’t want to be an imposition on either of them. You should be happy I had your brothers.” She glared my way.
“I am.” But it still pissed me off. Leaving had been my decision. Blocking them had been my decision. Staying gone for a year, my decision. But had I known about my son, I would havedecideddifferently.
“They were good uncles. That’s all.”
“I’m not insinuating anything else,” I asserted and she smirked, rolling her eyes like she had read my thoughts.
“Mmhm.”
“Zion wouldn’t cross that line and neither wouldyou?” I posed the last part as a question because I was sure of Zion’s motives, but hers…
“I wouldn’t sleep with your brother, Xander. If you don’t feel certain about whether or not I would, then I’m telling you now.” She sounded angry. When she turned back to the diapers, snatching packs from the shelf, I relaxed, smiled, and moved to help. Whatever she grabbed, I grabbed until we had more than enough.
“Can we go now? We have two carts of stuff that feels like overkill,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“It’s not. Kids require a lot.” Toyin shot me a dirty look and I chuckled, catching her around the waist before she could escape with the cart she was in charge of. When her back met my chest and I held her in place with my hand flat against her stomach, I immediately regretted doing so.
Her softness to my hardness. The light scent of cotton candy that clung to her skin and the way my wolf began pacing beneath my skin were all reminders that being close to Toyin was not good for either of us.
“No more arguing over blame. This is where we are…” I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to sink my teeth into her neck. “I’m willing to do whatever to make this work.”
“Then let me go so we don’t make a terrible mistake.” Her words were hoarse and I understood why. Our attraction, the sexual tension, and the pull was strong. I made the smart choice and did as she asked, but my muscles remained locked painfully tight.
