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“I’m sorry.”
He scoffed. “So am I.”
“You shouldn’t be.”
His eyes met mine, angry and intense. “Neither should you.” I felt the warmth of his palms on my thighs followed by the pressure of his fingers gripping me.
“You’re apologizing because you think you have to. Because ofher. I’m sorry that of all the mothers in the world, she’s yours. That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. That woman is a horrible person.”
“She’s what my father made her. She is what this life made her.”
“Is that an excuse?”
He shook his head gently. “No, I didn’t mean it to be. I meant it as a warning.”
That this life could turn me into that woman. His mother.
“I’ll never be her, Ezekiel. Who she is has nothing to do with the consequences of this life. I might not know much about how this works but I know a heartless, selfish person and that’s who she is. Fuck her. I’m not going to run because of who she is.”
He stared at me for a long moment then cupped my face, bringing it closer to his. When he kissed me I felt his warring emotions. “I don’t want you to run. I don’t want you to leave.”
“Good because I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what you need.”
He smiled, shaking his head slowly. “This, I need this.”
He kissed me again and let his forehead rest on mine.
“Do you need to talk to your brother?”
I felt the warm exhale of his breath fan over my face.
“Yeah, I do but not until he’s ready. He has to process all of this.”
“I heard what she said, that she was trying to manipulate him. I can tell Elias…”
Those hard eyes lifted to mine. “You don’t need to. He knows her, and me, but Elias processes differently. He has to get there on his own like Cress said, but he’ll get there.”
I nodded softly and my eyes moved around the room. “Then why all this?”
“I’m tired, Jhorie. I’m so fucking tired of carrying it all. As angry as I am that she was here and about what she said, I’m grateful too. There are no more secrets. I just needed a minute to let it all out. You don’t have to worry about this, about me.”
His voice was raw again, his eyes intense. “I’m not worried about this, but I am worried about you. I can’t care and not worry. The two are synonymous.”
I offered a lazy shrug and he chuckled lightly.
“Yeah, I suppose they are. I’m not the person she intended to present me as, Jhorie. I would never in my fucking life believe those things about my brother, much less say them in the manner she…”
“Don’t do that.”
“What?” His brows pinched.
“Don’t you fucking dare explain who you are to me like I can’t see you.”
His large hands cuffed the sides of my face again and his mouth crashed with mine, kissing me hard and passionately until I could no longer breathe and his breaths became mine. The only reason he stopped was because someone called his name.
When we pulled away, our eyes swung to the door and there stood Cress. Her expression was grim as her eyes bounced between us but she addressed me. “Do you mind if I speak to him for a minute? Alone.”
“Yeah actually I do.” I lifted from his lap and Ezekiel followed. I felt him behind me but I kept moving until I reached Cress. I liked her. I felt she and I were friends or at least getting there but if she was here to defend her husband and tear down Ezekiel that wasn’t okay.
