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Some of the brightness in her eyes dimmed at his poorly timed reminder of the babies they’d lost, but she pulled his other hand, the one not fondling her breast, to her belly. “I’m trying hard to stay positive. I’ll always mourn those pregnancies, but we’ve been blessed this time with a healthy baby. For whatever reason, Skye is the child we’re supposed to have. She’s going to make it, and so am I.”
She rose up on her tiptoes and pressed kisses along his jaw, moaning as the stubble abraded her tender lips.
“I need you to help me through, though,” she whispered.
“I’m here for whatever you need, babe. Now. Always.” He twisted his fingers into her short strands, gently tugging her head back so he could take her mouth, forcefully at first then softening to nibbles and nips.
“Put the food away,” she said, a little breathlessly, “then meet me upstairs.”
5
By the timeJules had peed and freshened up, Ben was sprawled across their bed, his shirt tossed over the wooden rocker in the corner of the room. She admired the masculine architecture of his chest and abdomen—firm pecs, contoured abs, tawny skin, the dark whorl of hair that started beneath his navel—and her body reacted accordingly, breasts becoming heavy, nipples hardening, clit throbbing.
He'd turned on the bedside lamp, casting a soft glow over the bed and leaving the rest of the room in shadow. The sensual notes of a love ballad drifted up the stairs from the speaker still playing in the kitchen.
She forgot about the tumor and brain surgery and concentrated on the sheer pleasure of the moment. She might not remember this night—the exact tilt of Ben’s chin as he watched her cross the room or how the flowered spread her grandmother had sewn for them rumpled under his hips when he shifted on the bed or the sweat dampening her brow as she imagined his touch—but she didn’t have to.
Ben loved her. She loved him. Every day would be filled with this heat, this anticipation, this promise, this sense of homecoming. No one remembered every second, every moment of their life. What they remembered where the feelings, the connections, the accomplishments, the celebrations. Dr. Navi had all but promised her a future to collect a treasure trove of those kinds of remembrances.
Instead of worrying about the future, Jules attuned all her senses to the here and now.
Ben patted the bed. “C’mere, babe.”
She sashayed over and climbed onto his lap, knees straddling his hips. Leaning back on her heels, she lifted the dress, exposing her belly.
“You’re all baby,” he marveled, splaying his hands as if holding a basketball.
“There’s nowhere for her to go but out.”
“We still have two and a half months to go.” He chuffed, amused and amazed.
“I’m afraid I’m going to look like I’m carrying a watermelon, not a baby.”
“If you need a wheelbarrow for your belly, August can hep me put one together in the shop.”
“I can just see it.” She grinned. “Pink flames and purple pinstriping.”
Ben pressed his ear atop her belly. “Do you think she’s gonna to be a girly girl or a tomboy?”
“It’ll be fun to watch her grow up and find out.”
“The fun’s already started.” He smoothed his hands up her arms, over her shoulders, and down her back. “God, I freaked out when you told me you were pregnant again. I couldn’t bear to watch you go through another miscarriage. Watching your heart break and not being able to make it better. Not being able to take away that pain. I never wanted to be a father until you came into my life. Suddenly, I was imagining white picket fences and coaching little league and family vacations to Disney World. Every time we lost another baby, I wanted to be a dad even more, but I didn’t want to pressure you to keep trying.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes. “You used to look at me so with much pity. Like you thought I was crazy to not give up after so many failures. Like you wanted all of it to be over.”
“The only thing I wanted to end was the pain you were going through.” He cupped her face in his palms and held her gaze. “Babe, your determination is what got us here today. You’ve paid an enormous price to make our dream come true. And now—” His forehead dropped to hers. “If you weren’t pregnant, the doctors could remove the tumor today.”
“Doctor…the one—” The familiar rush of panic and frustration started building.
“Dr. Navi,” Ben said.
“Dr. Navi said I’ll be okay, right?”
“Yes, but honestly? I was in shock. Most of what he said is a blur. I can’t exactly remember.”
“That how I feel much of the time,” she said.
“I’ll see if Dr. Navi can meet with us again. Let’s make a list of questions and ask for advice on how to get you through the next few weeks.”
