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“Sam,” he began. “Please. I just want to talk to you.”
I looked up at him and could see that he was borderline desperate, though he was trying his best to hide it. For a moment, I almost felt bad for him, which shocked me to my core. Still, I couldn’t stand that sad puppy dog face he made.
With a sigh, I said, “Come on. I’ll make us coffee. Tell me what you want to talk about, and we’ll get it over with.”
He arched a brow, apparently surprised by my easy acquiescence.
“All right.” He nodded for me to go first.
I led him to a little table in the corner of the store and had him sit down while I made a pot of coffee in the back of the store where we had a little break room for employees.
Once the coffee was done, I poured two mugs and brought them out to set on the table, and then, I sat down as well.
Ryan thanked me and took a sip before asking, “So, how’s Henry? He at school today?”
I sighed. “Yeah…he does half-days, then daycare. I pick him up after work..”
He nodded. He looked nervous and awkward, which was really strange. Growing up, he’d always seemed larger than life to me. The epitome of confidence. “I know you don’t want me to, but…can I ask about you?”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion but gave him a little shrug. “Sure. Whatever. Ask away.”
He was thoughtful a moment before asking, “How’s your life been since we last saw each other?”
A rather broad and vague question to start with, but I got the feeling he didn’t really know where to go with this conversation.
For a moment, I considered shutting him down again and refusing to answer, but then, I let out another sigh and said, “Things have been good, for the most part. Life hasn’t gone exactly how I’d planned it, obviously, but I really have nothing to complain about.”
“I see,” he murmured, his gaze on his mug. “Did you finish school?”
I felt a twinge in my chest and had to take a moment so unnecessary emotions didn’t leak into my voice.
“High school, yes,” I answered stiffly. “I didn’t go to college, though. I needed to take care of Henry. But I’m taking online classes now, so I will hopefully have my degree within the next three years.”
Ryan flinched. “I see. I-I’m sorry things didn’t work out as you’d hoped.”
I shrugged. “Life happens. Plans change. No reason to dwell on the what-ifs.”
“I suppose there’s some truth to that,” he mumbled. “So, you didn’t end up going to college. Have you been working for the bookstore since then?”
I was struggling to figure out his endgame for this conversation. Was he really just curious about me?
I wasn’t certain I believed that, but there was a small part of me that was a little bit happy that he was asking about my life. It was a stupid, naïve part of me, but it was there all the same.
“Yeah, I have,” I answered. “I got the job here and loved it right away. I’ve been working here ever since. Now, I’m hoping to buy the place if I can.”
Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. “Buy the place?”
“The owner, Sheila, is retiring soon,” I explained. “I’ve been hoping that I can buy the store from her, so I’ve been saving up every penny I can spare.”
Why was I telling him all this? I couldn’t seem to control the words coming out of my mouth.
Was I trying to impress him?
Show him I wasn’t some uneducated loser?
I grew annoyed at myself for revealing so much to him, but since I couldn’t take back any of my words, I just had to push forward with this tense interaction.
Ryan set his mug down and said, “Let me give you the money for the store.”
