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I walked away and didn’t let myself look back at him. I did listen for the store bell to ring to indicate that he’d left, though. I let out a sigh of relief, determined to put him from my mind so I could focus on my work.
A task much easier said than done.
Chapter eleven
Ryan
Shehadtobethe most stubborn, most infuriating woman I’d ever met.
It was early evening, and I was still stewing from my encounter with her earlier that day at the bookshop.
I paced through my house, a glass of bourbon in my hand that I’d been nursing for nearly half an hour at that point.
I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation, or the fact that I’d almost kissed her again.
She’d have let me if we hadn’t been interrupted. I’d seen it in her eyes. There’d been blatant desire and want swimming in her gaze.
I knew it was a bad idea for us to become entangled with each other at all, yet with each encounter we had, I seemed to grow more and more obsessed with her.
I couldn’t seem to stay away from her.
Along with my growing desire and fascination with Sam was irritation and frustration that she had refused my offer to help her buy the bookshop.
She’d dismissed my assistance so easily that it actually had pricked my pride.
Whatever the cost of the shop would be barely a dip in the bucket for me. I’d probably make that money back within the week. Maybe even the day.
Yet, she’d turned me down and acted like I’d suggested she sell her soul to the devil in order to get her shop.
I’d just wanted to help her. To assist her to achieve her dream after she’d given up so much to raise Henry alone.
I sighed and came to a stop when I stood in the middle of the living room. I took a long drink and relished the burn as the bourbon slid down my throat.
I should’ve come back sooner, if for no other reason than to check on her. To apologize. Something!
Then, I’d have found out about Henry much sooner. I could have been a father to him…maybe.
I wasn’t actually sure about that, because I wasn’t entirely sure how to be a good father. My dad was always cold and distant. He hadn’t really bothered with me and left me in the care of a nanny for a good chunk of my life.
Standing in my childhood home only reminded me of how lonely I was growing up. My father buried himself in his work and did his best to forget I was around unless it was absolutely necessary. He passed me off to nannies and tutors and only interacted with me when he had to.
Honestly, the only bright spots in my childhood were Jason and Sam, though I’d never tell her that out loud.
They had always made me feel loved and accepted. Wanted.
Going to their house growing up had been a sweet relief from the loneliness of my own. Their parents had been wonderful and welcoming. They’d taken me in and treated me like their own.
Some of my fondest memories were of being at their house, laughing and playing and just being a kid.
When her parents eventually found out that I was likely Henry’s father, they’d probably hate me.
That thought made my stomach twist and my heart hammer as a small amount of anxiety built up within me.
I was ashamed for what I’d done—not for sleeping with Sam, necessarily, but for leaving her behind.
I’d made such a mess of things. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of this situation without looking like the bad guy. Maybe I didn’t deserve anything else, but I didn’t want to lose the only people who had ever felt like an actual family to me.
Releasing another heavy sigh, I turned and make my way out of the living room, needing to replenish my drink so I could keep moping.
