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“He is,” I easily agreed, though I was cautious about where he was going with this. “I might be a bit bias, but I think he’s as close to perfect as a kid can get.”
Ryan took a long drink of his wine before meeting my gaze and stating, “I want to be in his life, Sam. I wanted to before, but now that I’ve met him and spent time with him…Jesus, I already know I’d give anything to that kid. I’d do anything to keep him happy and safe. I can’t just walk away from him now.”
I dropped my gaze from his and bit my tongue to keep from snapping at him that walking away hadn’t been an issue for him with me. I reigned my anger in, though. This wasn’t about me. It was about Henry. I had to think of what was best for him.
“I-I still don’t know if it’s a good idea,” I admitted in a soft voice. “The thought of you getting to know Henry, gaining his love, and then leaving him…”
“I swear that won’t happen,” he insisted. He set his glass down and took mine as well, then he grabbed both my hands in his. “Sam, I promise you that if you let me be Henry’s father, I will never leave him, or you. Not again.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did, but the wound he’d given me was soul-deep, and I wasn’t sure how to heal it completely.
However, I didn’t want to completely shut the door to any opportunity for Ryan to have a relationship with Henry.
After seeing him interact with my boy all day, I couldn’t deny that Ryan was good with our son. He might deserve a chance, but I had to figure out how to forgive him for the past first.
“I need to think about it,” I told him at length. “I’m not saying no, but there are things I have to work through before I say yes.”
I glanced up at him, and my heart thumped in my chest when I saw the hope shining in his gaze.
“Okay.” He nodded. “That’s fair enough. Thank you, Sam. Even that much means the world to me.”
I was feeling overwhelmed with emotion as he spoke, and his touch was doing funny things to me. Part of me wanted to take my hands away from his, but another, stronger part wanted him to touch other parts of me.
Holy crap, what was I thinking? I told myself I was just feeling vulnerable, and my resolve was weakening as a result.
Swallowing, I croaked, “You’re welcome.”
For a few seconds, we just stared at each other. I couldn’t seem to look away from him. God, he was beautiful. How was it fair that he was so gorgeous? It made it hard to resist him.
As we continued to gaze into each other’s eyes, I could feel my resolve slipping away.
I found myself wanting him to kiss me again. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and his heat and make my mind go blank.
I needed him to take away all thoughts and stresses and replace them with pleasure and satisfaction.
“Sam,” he murmured, his tone heated.
“Ryan,” I breathed back.
He closed the distance between us and kissed me. I didn’t try to stop him. Didn’t push him away. I simply didn’t want to.
There was really no other explanation, and I was too tired of resisting him to care. I just wanted to feel, and Ryan was the only man who had ever made me really feel anything.
What started as a slow and steady exploration quickly heated up, and soon, Ryan’s lips were slanting over mine as our tongues tangled.
We clung to each other desperately.
Ryan’s hands gripped my waist, and he pushed me onto my back, so I was lying beneath him. He slipped one hand up my shirt and ran his fingers over my belly, making me gasp and arch into him. I tangled my fingers into his hair and held him to me as I lost myself in our kiss and his touch.
A small voice at the back of my head tried to tell me that getting physically involved was a bad idea. I shouldn’t be doing this with Ryan Carson, but I didn’t listen. My body was on fire. All I could think about was how badly I wanted Ryan to keep going.
As if he could read my mind, he moved his hand down my belly and slipped it beneath the waistband of my bike shorts. A quick breath slipped past my lips. Ryan raised his head enough so he could gaze down into my eyes. He didn’t speak, but I could see the question in his gaze as his fingers rested just above the juncture between my legs.
I hesitated, a little bit of reason slipping through the lustful haze that had fallen over my mind. I was about to cross a line with Ryan that I wouldn’t be able to step back over. There would be consequences, and I would likely regret it.
But it had been so long since I’d been touched. The thought of Ryan petting me made my heart race and my blood heat.
Why shouldn’t I take advantage of this opportunity and allow him to pleasure me? Why shouldn’t I allow myself to escape my reality, if only for a few minutes?
