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Martin shook his head.
“No. I made myself a better man for myself.” He paused. “It’s helped me get the promotion I didn’t know I wanted.” He joked.
“And your home life?” Rose couldn’t believe she asked the question, rolling her eyes at herself as he leaned over and placed his mug on the coffee table.
“Spent reading and grading papers mostly.” He answered with a return to his position facing her. He never mentioned his wife or girlfriend, Rose thought. Should she ask about the gender reveal order that brought him back into her life? She questioned herself only a moment when she felt the brush of his finger along her shoulder.
“So, who all do you still know from the old days?” Rose quickly asked, not that she cared.
Hours they spent talking, lost in gossip about people they knew from high school. Some Rose knew and didn’t mind, others she wished she could forget. She found it shocking that some worked at the school with Martin, who had no interest in school back in the day. Rose felt a sense of happiness when he told her how he broke up with his high school girlfriend when he went away to college. How devastated she was and how she ended up marrying the backup quarterback. Rose knew it was her that fed Martin information to use in vile ways.
Rose knew she shouldn’t take pleasure in the pain of others, but this she counted as karma justice. Especially when Martin revealed his ex had just gotten a divorce.
“Enough about me.” He finally said. Rose knew those dreaded four words were coming. “Tell me about you.”
“Nothing interesting.” She answered swiftly. “Have you traveled?” Rose shifted the conversation back to him, but she could tell he knew what she was doing. He allowed her to keep her secrets, keeping the word he had given at the planetarium.
She sat silently and listened to him talk, lost in his voice. The color of his eyes was softer, kinder. That smile, she felt the pull inside her, and though she fought it, she could not deny the humor. Her entire life, she had never suffered from fighting an attraction toward a man because none had ever given her the attention she wanted. Yet, she sat on her couch, alone with the one man she never thought she would. Letting out a chuckle, Martin stopped talking.
“What’s so funny?” He asked with that grin pulled along his mouth, those wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. She sat in silence, exhaled, and, without stopping herself, blurted out her thoughts.
“I…I can’t believe I’m sitting here with Martin Brock. Talking to him as though long lost friends and just feeling, feeling,” she exhaled, “feeling safe.” Their stares lingered on one another for a moment before Rose quickly stood and grabbed both mugs. She entered the kitchen, setting the mugs on the counter and closing her eyes as she worked to control her breathing. How could she have admitted that to him, she questioned herself.
She knew she couldn’t hide from this, not from him or what she felt. A joke. A game. None of it mattered to her anymore. She pressed her palms on the counter and turned; her step stopped as her body crashed into him. He stood in silence behind her. She lowered her head until she felt the side of his index finger pressed under her chin. Slowly, her head lifted, and her gaze returned to his. There was a sense of seriousness in his features. How he looked at her brought a knot to her stomach as though it pained her not to be closer to him. Her breathing increased. A nervousness she had never felt filled her with a slow step of his body.
There was no space between them; Rose’s arms hung to her sides. Martin brought his hand to the side of her face; his fingers brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
She felt weak in her knees, and a sudden jolt of electricity moved through her body. Her chest lifted and fell quickly as he leaned forward. Their mouths brushed against one another; their gazes remained locked onto one another as though he asked for permission with a brief pause when it happened.
Martin pressed his body against hers, their lips colliding with hard pressure. Their mouths parted, and he sucked her bottom lip between his. Rose felt more like a woman in that moment than she had all her life. She felt beautiful and desired. His hands lifted to her hips before they glided around to the small of her back and held her tight against him. She lifted her arms, running her fingers through the back of his hair with a deeper, more passionate motion of their lips. She felt alive for the first time. She became lost in the moment, in his arms. Until she felt the counter, he had backed her to.
Rose quickly pulled from the kiss, her palm flat against his chest, and she pushed him arm’s length away. “What’s wrong?” She looked at him with his question and shook her head.
Rose scoffs, “Are you joking?” She asked with a shift around him.
She made her way back into the living room, Martin with a quick step behind her. “Rose, I don’t get it.” She wanted to scream; she was confused.
“You don’t get it.” She repeated his words as she turned to face him. “You made my life a living hell. Now you’re standing in my kitchen looking at me in ways my ex-husband never looked at me, even in the beginning. You’re kissing me, holding me, and…” her words trailed off.
“I’m not the same person who hurt you all those years ago. I thought you saw that by now.” He spoke. “Didn’t you have a good day with me?”
Rose couldn’t lie; her time with him had been the best in such a long time. “I did.” She answered.
Martin rushed to her, his hands on the sides of her neck. “I want you.” Rose wanted to cry; she felt the knot in her throat and knew it would only be a matter of time before she could no longer hold it back.
“Don’t you see, you’re the same? Going after whatever you want no matter who it hurts in the end. I can’t allow you to hurt me again, and I know it will happen. Setting myself up for it makes me…I just can’t. I’m not what you want.” Martin lowered his hand with her words. Rose saw the disappointment in his eyes, but she would not waver.
Rose stepped to the door and opened it, unwilling to look back at him. “Please leave.”
Martin remained still for what felt like minutes before he stepped past her. The heaviness of his boots on the floor caused her lip to shake. She could still feel his hands on her. His lips against her. The stronghold he held her in. Without a word, she closed the door and locked it before she pressed her back against the thick wood. Rose closed her eyes as the tears started to flood her cheeks, lowering to the floor. As he felt herself grow angry, she wondered how she allowed herself to get into this place.
CHAPTER10
Martin
It had been a week since his date with Rose, and though he had texted her, called her, and dropped by the bakery, he had not heard or seen her once. He knew he needed to face her. She wanted nothing to do with him, and though he hated the idea, he had to accept her choice. He had done enough harm earlier in life; it caused her to be unable to see him as changed. Though anyone else, he wouldn't have cared; with Rose, there was something different. She captivated him when he saw her in the bakery with flour on her face. The way she smiled, the way she spoke. Even how she acted toward him when she realized who he was. Martin saw such goodness in her. She was the type of woman he should have always been with.
He leaned back in his chair, and the image of Rose flashed through his mind. His lips curled to a smile; his thumb ran along his bottom lip as he remembered their kiss. He hadn’t planned to kiss her that day; the thought entered his mind, but he knew he had work to do. He knew she deserved to be courted, but at that moment with her, he couldn’t deny the pull that came over him. He wanted to give her the space he promised, and yet he hated not hearing her voice, not at least seeing her from a distance. Martin couldn’t believe he had become consumed by Rose Denton so quickly.
