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Eden gave me ten thousand dollars, which helped immensely.
“I still wish I could do more.”
“I know, and I appreciate you for that.” My shoulders slump with the weight of the disaster I’ve been living. “If anyone could have helped me, it’s my father.”
“Don’t you think he wishes he could?” Her lips part, and she gazes back at me with surprise.
“I do, but he never says it because he knows he screwed up.”
I can’t help the resentment I feel toward my father for so many things. It started with his marriage to Brielle. I thought he got married way too soon after Mom died, as it was less than a year after she passed. Then, after his accident, he allowed Brielle and her bitch daughter Michelle to rob him of every cent he had.
He worried Brielle would leave him because he could no longer walk, so he gave her control over his finances and splurged on her to keep her. She left him anyway and took all his money. Money from the house she sold, money from Dad’s other assets, money from his savings.
In the end, Dad ended up in a one-bed condo on the other side of the city. Because he can’t work for long hours, he does part-time hours at a software firm. It’s a job that pays the bills and puts food on the table, but it doesn’t come close to the previous company he worked for. He’s on an intern’s salary, which is just enough to take care of his basic needs.
Apart from the finances, I hate that my father told me to stay with Sasha. He wanted me to stay even knowing how badly I was being treated. His argument is that he thought we could work things out. I only have myself to blame, but I know that if he’d told me to leave or found a way to get me out of that situation, many of the problems I now have wouldn’t exist. Neither of those options would have crossed my father’s mind, though, because of Sasha’s wealth. Dad would be more worried about looking like the bad guy than me.
The same goes for Club Edge. If Dad knew I was working there, he’d be more embarrassed for himself. Not me.
That’s why I haven’t told him about it. Gina doesn’t know either, but not for the same reasons. If she knew, she’d feel like failed me, and I would never want her to feel that way.
Dad and Gina currently think I got a dancing job that’s bringing in extra money to take care of the bills. I want to keep it that way.
“I’m so sorry.” Eden sits forward and gives my hands a gentle squeeze. “Let’s order dessert and talk about happier things, like your audition and all the amazing things you’ll do when you get the job.”
I give her a grateful smile. “Thanks for being so positive.”
“It’s the least I can do.” Her face brightens. “Now, how does a hot fudge sundae sound?”
“Like heaven on earth.”
“Then we should have it.”
When the dessert arrives, I try to enjoy it and stop thinking of the night I still have ahead of me.
At least it works to some degree, but as night falls, so do my hopes.
* * *
I reach home at two in the morning, dragging my legs as if weights are attached to the soles of my feet.
Shit. Every cell in my body is screaming with exhaustion.
Every time I feel like this, I pray that my body doesn’t give out and refuse to work. Especially when I’m on the aerial hoop.
Tonight, I almost fell.
Me.
That hasn’t happened in so long I can’t even remember the last time it did. It would have been long before Mom died. The same way she used to come to all my ballet classes, she’d attend my aerial classes, too. It was her who got me started on both from the tender age of five, because that was her dream. Her family couldn’t afford lessons. When she saw that I was obsessed with both, she made it her life’s mission to make sure I did what I wanted to do.
She would have loved to see all that I can do now, but she’d want me to be sensible.
Being up on the aerial with no safety is dangerous enough as it is, but being up there when you’re so tired you can’t see clearly is downright foolish.
I have a break tomorrow for the auction and the three nights that follow for the time I’m supposed to spend with whoever wins me. Right now, I don’t even have the energy to feel nervous.
When I get inside the house, I see the light on in the kitchen, meaning Gina is awake. It’s not often that she is at this hour.
